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IBM Flushes Restroom Patent 146

jdkane writes "As reported in this CNet news article IBM has quietly eliminated a patent it received on a method for determining who gets to use the bathroom next. I say Kudos to IBM because it is a relief (no pun intended) to see some common sense prevail in the patent news. A funny quote from the article is "But just because the patent office granted this and other questionable patents doesn't mean the system is broken".;)"
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IBM Flushes Restroom Patent

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  • by sprzepiora ( 160561 ) on Saturday October 12, 2002 @08:46AM (#4436593) Homepage
    In the article it describes what has been used in low tech meat counters ever since I can remember.
    • by lars_stefan_axelsson ( 236283 ) on Saturday October 12, 2002 @09:03AM (#4436629) Homepage
      In the article it describes what has been used in low tech meat counters ever since I can remember.

      Not only that but the technology as such is crap. Pardon the pun.

      Here in Sweden automated next-in-line ticket machines are everywhere, and having to suffer them one major flaw comes immediately to light; lower efficiency.

      You see, what was before a line, with the next person steping up to the counter (or toilet) in all of two seconds, now takes thirty or more. You first have to find the correct teller, then mosy on over there.

      Add to that the fact that the people servicing the tellers now can take a brake or fiddle with God knows what (since there is no line of customers eagerly awaiting service). Before the 'improvement' the person behind the counter had to wait for a natural lull, before being able to file here (or his) fingernails, now it can be done with a hundred people waiting in line. Oh progress.

      As an example of the lowered efficiency I can take the case of returning books at the local library used to be handled by one librarian, now that they've automated it, it takes three! Same amount of work.

      About the only institution that has gotten it right is the (state) liqour stores, where the staff presses the button too soon (so to speak) and actually keep a line of two persons at each teller: the customer being serviced, and the next one. That increases throughput considerably. Wouldn't work here though. You'd have to press the button before you were all wiped off and squeaky clean for that to work in an airplane.

      • Hmm. Given the reduced-efficiency angle, if IBM's patent were enforced, the next logical development is "Patent for waiting-line area cleaning devices to fix the mess left by people who'd been in line too long".

      • Here in Sweden automated next-in-line ticket machines are everywhere, and having to suffer them one major flaw comes immediately to light; lower efficiency.

        In France and in Luxembourg we have those too, and usually people are reasonably fast to react when their number comes up.

        Big advantage of such systems: you get the ticket for the meat counter, you see that it's at least 15 numbers until your turn, so you can get your other groceries while "waiting" (of course, if you're not back in time, you lose your place, so you use your judgment).

        Other advantage: if there are several counters, the system manages a global queue, so no "gosh, the queue to my left is moving faster, but it's to late to change now".

        Looks more efficient (and fair) to me, at least from the individual customer's point of view.

    • yes, a movement not to tolerate such assinine claims. Good for IBM, for bringing up the rear ! jon@geek.com
  • Very stupid. (Score:5, Interesting)

    by Krapangor ( 533950 ) on Saturday October 12, 2002 @08:49AM (#4436600) Homepage
    You might laugh now about this patent, but I work in Operations Research and such data is vitally important for many businesses. The required number and size of the stalls must determinded a priori and well-timed refill of toilet paper is extremely important from a logistics/cost point of view. Makashura and Miller have proven this optimizing problem NP-hard and the IBM patent contains an appromation algorithm with a garantueed maximum error of 1/5 of the original cost which is very good. If the PR deparment of IBM wouldn't be so stupid the would make BIG bucks with this patent.
    It seems that they make the same error here which they made with the personal computer: letting things go without enough patent coverage, giving the rise to power competitors like Microsoft or Compaq. Not very clever.
    • by AnotherShep ( 599837 ) on Saturday October 12, 2002 @08:54AM (#4436607)
      Maybe they just didn't want their name slapped all over bathroom stalls...

      "For a good time, call IBM at...", etc.
    • Hopefully whoever moderated this interesting was... err... taking the piss as well.
    • Don't give Microsoft any ideas! Have you ever seen a urinal BSoD? Do you want to?

    • It seems that they make the same error here which they made with the personal computer: letting things go without enough patent coverage, giving the rise to power competitors like Microsoft or Compaq. Not very clever.

      IBM was under pressure to open up its systems because of the on-going anti-trust lawsuits against it. They did not want yet more anti-trust problems.

      Unlike MS, they actually changed their behavior under such legal pressure.

      • Further, if IBM put too many restrictions on the early PC, then competitor architectures would be more popular.

        CPM was pretty big back then. The biz market started cranking out lots of applications for CPM machines, including MS. If IBM kept the PC expensive and highly proprietary, then we would probably still be using CPM-based machines of some sort these days instead of PC-based.
    • Forget about the toilet connection. This patent is nothing more than a mathematical formula. Assigning monopoly rights to a formula comes pretty close to charging royalties on thought.

      It is impossible to argue with a straight face that there are any societal benefits for granting patents like this one. IBM made the right call on this one.
    • "(Score:5, Interesting)"

      Funny...

  • by pieterh ( 196118 ) on Saturday October 12, 2002 @08:52AM (#4436604) Homepage
    The best suggestion I saw on /. was to pay examiners for each application they could reject.

    Another one: patents should be backed up by significant and provable documentation of the actual invention process.

    Finally, there should be a bounty (payable by the patenter) for anyone able to break a patent by proving prior art.

    The alternative is going to be a general constipation of innovation in those countries that allow software patents.
    • by loply ( 571615 ) on Saturday October 12, 2002 @09:38AM (#4436689) Homepage
      The way the patent system works in the US is that they (the patents people) basically grant any patent, and if you disagree with it, you are supposed to challenge it and a judge decides its validity. It is intended that in the case of questionable patents they should simply be granted and its left to a judge to invalidate it when somebody takes the issue to court.
      • That's just crazy!

        The way I read this situation is that all patent applications are first treated with an assumption of novelty. Is this some bizarre extension of the assumption of innocence? If I told you I had a brilliant idea, before telling you what it was, would you assume that I was the first person ever to have that idea? Of course you wouldn't, so why should the default response to a patent application be a grant?

        The concept of Patent Clerks being paid piece rates for how many applications they can reject really is a good one. Of course, I wouldn't mind being a Patent Clerk during the first year or so of this scheme's implementation ;)

    • by schlach ( 228441 ) on Saturday October 12, 2002 @11:43AM (#4436979) Journal
      The best suggestion I saw on /. was to pay examiners for each application they could reject.

      I think someone pointed out last time, too, that almost all patent applications are rejected the first time around. They send it back to you with a list of reasons they rejected it, you fix it, and send it back. Maybe a couple times, until it's eventually accepted. So it wouldn't really make sense to pay them for each time they sent it back...

      IANAPTOPE, but I read a lot of /. comments by them. And I'd rather have a system that awards too many patents, requiring the lowly peon to challenge the big goliath in a court of law to get a patent busted, than have a system that's abused the other way, preventing the lowly peon from getting deserved patents, while their well-financed competition steals their idea and puts it in practice much faster with their larger capital backing. (disclaimer: I am the lowly peon)

      Finally, there should be a bounty (payable by the patenter) for anyone able to break a patent by proving prior art.

      Now that's interesting... but again, that would even further skew the patent system from one that tries to put the lowly peon on equal footing with the Established Interests. Example: OmniCorp has a Patent subdivision of their Legal org. The PTO requires an additional $2k (?) bounty deposit to be staked when first patenting something. That's chump change for OmniCorp, but it may be very tricky for John Q. DocBrown to pony up the deposit, in addition to his now-steeper filing fees (thx PTO reorg). So DocBrown is afraid to file his patent, for fear of losing 3-large if his idea turns out to be stupid, instead of just one.

      And when do you get your bounty-deposit back? 20 years later, when the patent expires? Now, the PTO could pay the bounty instead, since they kinda screwed up, but I don't think that would help anyone. You might put in place a system where the PE no longer has any reason to approve a valid app, that may be close to prior art, for fear of getting it busted in court and racking up a demerit point.

      Another one: patents should be backed up by significant and provable documentation of the actual invention process.

      Umm, it's not that way now? You mean including the inspirational moment, or what? Because you have to have everything else well backed up, if you want to assert that you're the actual inventor, if anyone tries ripping you off.

      I've got a suggestion for the /. crowd. We all know that these big businesses and their patents suck. But think of a million-dollar idea, (like a Jump to Conclusions mat..) and think of what you'd have to do to start a company to go in to business to exploit the idea, assuming you don't already own one. Put yourself in the position of the lowly peon with a ticket to glory, instead of a role of angry-slashdotter-reacting-to-abuse-by-large-corpo rations, and think of how grateful you are for each protection afforded to the small patenter, and how loathe you would be to "reform" those protections away... It's eye-opening.

      • "And I'd rather have a system that awards too many patents, requiring the lowly peon to challenge the big goliath in a court of law to get a patent busted, than have a system that's abused the other way, preventing the lowly peon from getting deserved patents, while their well-financed competition steals their idea and puts it in practice much faster with their larger capital backing. (disclaimer: I am the lowly peon)"

        A system that awards too many patents is more detrimental to the lowly peon than one that awards too few patents. It creates a situation where big business gets a huge wad of undeserved patents and uses them to keep the lowly peon out of the market because the lowly peon does not have the lawyers or a heavy patent portfolio of his/her own to challenge the bogus patents or defend against lawsuits.
  • "don't know who?" (Score:4, Interesting)

    by vvikram ( 260064 ) on Saturday October 12, 2002 @08:54AM (#4436608)

    What does the lady from the patent office mean?!

    "We dont know who issue the patent".....is it so tough to track who is the issuing officer. I am surprised it isn't done.

    Anyways the reporter should have asked why such an absurd patent was issued in the first place and probably put her in the spot by giving many examples of such crappy patents being issued. Sheesh, its almost like the patent office wants us to think its a clerical error.....and the best is they get away with it.

    vv

    • Re:"don't know who?" (Score:2, Informative)

      by mavenguy ( 126559 )
      No, we know who allowed the patent; that's right on the front page (follow the link).

      What she was referring to was the Request for Reexamination. I forget when they are made public, but, as of about 12 years ago, they were open to the public until a decision to Reexamine the patent was granted. After that. there was would be no public participation in the proceedings.

      The requester should be identified when the public notice is filed identified, but it looks like IBM mooted this pretty quickly, so, perhaps, it never got to that stage.
  • stupid patent (Score:5, Insightful)

    by spongman ( 182339 ) on Saturday October 12, 2002 @08:55AM (#4436610)
    apart from the fact that it applies to bathrooms, how is this any different from the age-old "take a number, take a seat" system used in waiting rooms and supermarket delis around the world? I guess the aparatus (claims 17/26) could be said to be new, but harldy a stroke of genius, especially not in 2000AD. I wouldn't be surprised if the Romans used something like this...
    • The novel part is the queing system. Rather than queing inefficiently at the bathroom, a virtual queue would be diffused over a large area. -- jetlag --
      • no, the novel part is the computer. go to the DMV on any regularly busy day, and the first thing you'll have to do is take a numbered ticket from a machine. When your number appears on a display above one of several manned counters (either that, or someone just shouts out your number), then it's your turn at that display.

        The DMV in WA takes this idea a step further by having multiple ticket types, each type assignable to different personnel capable of handling each type of request.

        In fact, come to think of it the tickets in the WA DMV may well have had the approximate time you should expect to be serviced printed on them (this is ca 1995, so it's a little fuzzy). If that's the case, then since they had arbitrary assignments for each ticket type, then I'm guessing that would be prior art for this patent since one of the ticket types could easily have been assigned to the bathroom.

  • I guess.... (Score:5, Funny)

    by Geraden ( 15689 ) on Saturday October 12, 2002 @08:55AM (#4436611) Homepage
    Big Blue didn't want to be known as "Big Blue Water"??

    <insert groans here>

    Scott
  • by Anonymous Coward on Saturday October 12, 2002 @08:56AM (#4436613)
    But Nyblod said that it's relatively rare for the patent office to re-examine patents it has issued. The office granted 187,882 patents in 2001 but received just 296 requests to re-examine individual patents, she said.

    That's 187,586 short if you ask me.
    Really, as much as I don't want to be a flaimbait, the "standard examination" or whatever is not quite good enough.
    In this day and age, with the amount of educated people at an all time high, and their education at an all time high too, the patent office has to be extra strict with giving patents.

    Though everybody at slashdot already knows this, it can't be stressed enoough:
    Patents are more a drag than a boost to creativity.

    And just a little rant:
    For nine years running, IBM has been the leading recipient of patents from the U.S. patent office.

    And

    We dedicated that patent to the public so that we could continue focusing on our high-quality patent portfolio.


    Seem to be in conflict.IBM and patents seem to me to be a issue of quantity not quality.
    • >> We dedicated that patent to the public so that we could continue focusing on our high-quality patent portfolio.

      > Seem to be in conflict.IBM and patents seem to me to be a issue of quantity not quality.

      I used to work for a large corporation (not IBM) who was among the top five companies issued the most patents annually in the US. The culture there encouraged us to apply for as many patents as possible, and granted cash awards to people just for filing. We filed many patents of questionable utility. Apparently it was more important to try to be #1 in patents than to make money. I'm sure the culture at IBM is the same.

      The company I now work for also encourages many patent applications, but they will only file patents that have a clear revenue generation opportunity. Otherwise, it's a waste of money to pursue and maintain the patent.
    • IBM and patents seem to me to be a issue of quantity not quality.

      Actually, if IBM wanted quantity we could simply submit every patent suggestion that employees come up with. As it is, only a subset of the ideas submitted to the internal process make it through and get submitted. No, the focus is quality and licensability.
  • by rknop ( 240417 ) on Saturday October 12, 2002 @08:56AM (#4436616) Homepage

    ...when I said I could make the big bucks by patenting the use of wiping with toilet paper. I mean, heck, I figured I'd be doing the patent office a favor. Surely the place would start to smell better after they were introduced to this novel technique. The only question for them would be whether there was enough room left for the paper, what with heads up in the way.

    -Rob

    • ...when I said I could make the big bucks by patenting the use of wiping with toilet paper. I mean, heck, I figured I'd be doing the patent office a favor.

      If you really wanna help them out, patent a method for wiping with software patent applications. That way we can cut down on the smell and the useless trash at the same time. Let's see, how about:

      This patent describes a method of cleaning one's rectum after the act of defecation utilizing unexamined software patent applications. The method, briefly described, is thus:

      1. Obtain a job at the patent office
      2. Gather together all patent applications mentioning the words or phrases "one-click", "e-commerce", "software", "Amazon", or "EBay".
      3. To soften the paper, crumple up each individual sheet of the application. Unravel it, then crumple it again. Repeat this process about 15 times per sheet, or until it is quite soft.
      4. Eat a meal with lots of fiber.
      5. Moniter your gastrointestinal system. Be on the alert for a sort of pushing sensation on the inside of your rectum.
      6. Go to a designated place for the excretion of said pressure-causing agent, taking with you the softened patent applications.
      7. Defecate normally.
      8. Use the softened applications afterwards by rubbing them along your rectum in short vertical sweeps. Deposit them into the excretion facility when they have been thus used.
      9. Flush the facility

  • by fferreres ( 525414 ) on Saturday October 12, 2002 @08:59AM (#4436622)
    me the shit out o... OH, at fscking last! It's my restroom turn. brb guys!.

    (Anyway: I should have my sisters take a look and the patent, they may actually LEARN something ...)

    (Anyway 2: Thanks god MS didn't patent it. A bug in these code could really KILL people. And I can foresee the script kiddies all going to the bath as they see fit.)
  • by Anonymous Coward on Saturday October 12, 2002 @09:00AM (#4436623)
    The quote about the system not being broken did not come from IBM, it came from a patent attorney.

    Personally, I guess the system isn't "broken", but it would be like a wall with cracks running from top to bottom, it's technically still a wall, but it's not something I'd want to lean on.
    • Or maybe like Marvin's wall (Marvin is a little boy in a comic that was popular some decades ago):

      Marvin is leaning against a wall. A woman comes along and asks, "Little boy, why are you leaning on that wall?"

      Marvin responds, "I'm holding the wall up."

      The woman says, "Don't be ridiculous. Run along home."

      So Marvin leaves, and the wall falls down.

  • by ekephart ( 256467 ) on Saturday October 12, 2002 @09:04AM (#4436631) Homepage
    In other news, today American Airlines was granted a patent on a new airliner with more restrooms than seats. When asked about the new plane a company official said, "Well, we aren't exactly sure if someone can use more than one restroom at once, but we are keeping our options open. If necessary, for the sake of public safety and security we have plans to eliminate an addition 10% of seats. Either way we'll show IBM who's boss."
  • Well... (Score:4, Funny)

    by mindstrm ( 20013 ) on Saturday October 12, 2002 @09:05AM (#4436632)
    How did the IBM system deal with the human element?

    When I'm waiting for a washroom on an aircraft, if I *really* need it in a hurry, perhaps becaue I'm sick.. I will ask the people waiting if I can go ahead. Usually they will say yes, if they can handle it.
    LIkewise, I will often let a small child or other person who looks really uncomfortable go ahead of me if I can bear it. It's called sharing. I got there first, okay, but I also sat closer to the washroom, perhaps. Or it took me less time to get out of my chair because I have an aisle seat. First come first serve is not always best; it should be more like most needed goes first.

    I suppose if we all had some kind of squid detector (ibm patent #4332123) hooked up to our brains, wired into the aircraft central computer (ibm patent # 98344223), then they could actually let us know before we even realize it that we have to go to the washroom. By analyzing how fast an individual bladder or digestive system is working, it could even schedule such things ahead of time. Pre-boarding screening could be done in order to let people konw they cannot fly, because there will not be washroom time available on the current flight.

  • by The_Guv'na ( 180187 ) on Saturday October 12, 2002 @09:10AM (#4436639) Homepage Journal

    Employers could finally get some real figures as to how the "restrooms" are used... A nice Web Based interface with, amongst other widjets, a long list of checkboxes for different activities...

    • Urination
    • Defecation
    • Phone call
    • SMS messaging
    • Diarrhea
    • Penile masturbation
    • Vaginal masturbation
    • Anal masturbation
    • Homosexual (male) intercourse
    • Homosexual (female) intercourse
    • Heterosexual intercourse
    • Any of the above three for a promotion and/or pay rise.
    • Sleeping
    • Alcohol abuse
    • Smoking tobacco
    • Smoking weed
    • Smoking crack cocaine
    • Moderating slashdot.org
    • Other drug abuse
    • Dealing drugs
    • Child abuse
    • Applying makeup
    • Vandalism
    • Advertising sexual services
    • Unsceduled board meeting
    • Reading newspaper(s)
    • Reading magazines(s)
    • Spying on other toilet users
    • Videotaping other toilet users
    • Dissing coworkers to management
    • Dissing management to coworkers
    • Checking out guys' equipment
    • Trying to piss but failing because the guy next to you is three times your size
    • Other (please specify) [_______________]

    Of course, how many people wold actually admit to some of the things on that list is another matter. :)

    Ali

  • Computer Algorithm (Score:4, Interesting)

    by forsetti ( 158019 ) on Saturday October 12, 2002 @09:19AM (#4436652)
    OK - let's think about this: why would IBM care about people using the bathrooms? Well, this process is a direct analogy to CPU resource management. The article mentions estimated wait time, ability to make and cancel resource reservations, and dangers of numerous stalled processes.

    I would bet that some engineer was trying to explain the new resource management algorithm, and used the bathroom analogy. They then registered the patent out of humor, or to ensure nobody later claimed their algorithm was prior art as bathroom usage.
    • "Hey, what's that blue screen with white letters mean?"

      "Oh, that's just my computer taking a dump again. Been doing that a lot ever since Microsoft bought that bathroom patent from IBM..."

  • I was thinking this would be some high tech system involving bladder scanners and anal probes. Then I read...


    "As envisioned in the patent, the system would be run by a computer that would assign customers a number based on a first-come, first-served basis"


    ...and realize it's just another "no tickey, no laundry" system...


    ::sigh::

  • Prior art (Score:5, Funny)

    by Ford Fulkerson ( 223443 ) on Saturday October 12, 2002 @09:28AM (#4436674)
    a method for determining who gets to use the bathroom next

    Prior art exists, it's called a line.
    • That's not prior art for this invention, neither legally nor morally.

      I see no reason we should restict patents to entirely new problems that have never been solved before. Rather, if we did, we wouldn't get any of the advantages that the patent system does genuinely bring.

    • Prior art exists, it's called a line.

      More specifically, a FIFO queue...
  • Holy S... (Score:4, Funny)

    by Ektanoor ( 9949 ) on Saturday October 12, 2002 @09:31AM (#4436676) Journal
    Has anyone read that patent???? Operating system - preferably UNIX (!!!) or Windows NT (!!!!!). Network protocol - TCP/IP (!!!!...)

    Thanks God, thank you, thank you, thank you that you gave some reason to IBM folks. I cannot imagine what would be the mood in the airplane if some funny joker decided to play the best DoS ever...
  • A relief (Score:4, Funny)

    by NewsWatcher ( 450241 ) on Saturday October 12, 2002 @09:32AM (#4436678)
    Phew! I'm glad they didn't dump that on us. It is such a relief it is not going to happen. I would have been peed off if it happened. It was a crappy patent anyway. It's not like people would have been lining up to implement it.

    (Sorry, someone had to get all the obvious puns out of the way. Now we can all get on with the serious issue of discussing this story)
  • Key point (Score:2, Insightful)

    by Anonymous Coward
    I think the key point of this article is the phrase: "We dedicated that patent to the public so that we could continue focusing on our high-quality patent portfolio," Andrews said.

    Now if only the everyone else would realize this...

  • I thought (Score:4, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Saturday October 12, 2002 @10:04AM (#4436743)
    the BM in IBM stood for "Business Machines".

    Hmm.

  • The office granted 187,882 patents in 2001

    That's more than 500 patents every day. And since getting a patent nowadays is as simple as applying, the numbers are probably rising. Damn. 500 a day. There's no way this system will ever get reformed.
  • Comment removed (Score:4, Interesting)

    by account_deleted ( 4530225 ) on Saturday October 12, 2002 @10:22AM (#4436775)
    Comment removed based on user account deletion
    • The patent system isnt 'fixed' until the patent office grants not more than 200 patents per year and no patents are allowed at all for software or buisness methods.

      A system that passes several orders of magnitude more patents than reasonable is broken. It's an error rate far above 99%.

      And that _is_ broken.
    • And someone is clearly underage such that no common sense has yet prevailed from life experience.

      Anyone who reads the actual patent [uspto.gov] can clearly see that it is a simple programming algorithm. Not that patents can't be applied on simple algorithms, but this algorithm in particular is just a common sense everyday occurance simulated on a computer. It's obvious that prior art has existed as long as the domestic bathroom has existed (and maybe even since people lined up for a tree). It's good that aiken_d doesn't work at the patent office, because he/she would not have seen the flaw in this patent either. Maybe the patent office needs better screening measures for employees.

      I agree with this poster's views on the patent system, and that "broken" is an overkill word as quoted by the author of the CNet news story.

    • "The patent office handles literally hundreds of thousands of applications a year. I challenge anyone to find that large of a system with an error rate of zero."

      The main reason why they hundreds of thousands of applications in the first place is because they have a high tendency to grant many patents for trivial products or prior art. The patent office and the lawmakers have created a situation where they are likely to be bogged down by so many applications that they cannot give them the proper scrutiny.

      If the standards for granting patents were as rigorous as they should be, there would be far fewer applications for them to review because most people would realize that their creation doesn't have a chance of getting approved, and the patent office would have more time to dedicate towards the applications which do get submitted.
  • Instead of having people sit on the crapper for long times (a few minutes, everything's long when YOU need to), just have a time-shitting agreement. All users will have 1/60'th of a second to do thier business. The last 2 people will be in charge of calling the janitor for floor cleanup (ewwww).
  • by Ektanoor ( 9949 ) on Saturday October 12, 2002 @10:44AM (#4436828) Journal
    Well, yesterday or the day before yesterday I had some good flamer kicking me for being so antipatent. He claimed that I was to one-sided and even didn't read the patents. Well, I don't read all patents shown in /. but some I do and with fair detail. Frankly this one was so shocking that I decided to read it. I HIGHLY recomend to do the same as it is better than any jokes here:

    The patent includes the possible use of printers and scanners. I may understand printers but scanners?.. What they intend to scan?

    They go all over by decribing a whole fullscale network with Windows NT or UNIX and using TCP/IP. Unfortunately they forget about firewalls, IPSec, secure authentication and so on. So one may wonder what might happen to this network and the effect it will have on passengers...

    They even talk about databases... To register what?

    These ones killed me: "As shown in FIG. 3B, the information contains field corresponding to, for example, passenger identifier by seat assignment, passenger name, whether the passenger is flying first class, price the passenger paid for the ticket, frequent flyer status, time at which the reservation request is received, reservation number assigned, and current position in the queue.
    (...)
    Alternatively, the central controller may grant reservation according to a set of rules which determines priority based on information stored in the database such as whether the passenger is flying first class, whether the passenger is a frequent flyer of the airline, the price the passenger paid for his ticket, the location of the passenger's seat in the cabin, etc."

    Look at the elitism of the sentences. So one goes to the restroom according to the price he paid for the ticket... Everyone else hold up and don't even imagine to do it in place...

    Another out of this world claim is the how they warn the passenger. One of the variants is:"or displayed on a screen in front of the cabin where the safety signs are displayed." For some people, mainly children, this sounds good - so everyone knows that he goes to the toilet... Besides it is quite cool to mix warning signs with the fact one needs to go to the toilet.

    The tracking system is also something from the other world: "The central controller may employ a tracking system to detect the movement of a passenger and the status of the restroom. For example, when a passenger leaves his seat and arrives at the restroom in fulfillment of his reservation, a sensor may detect the passenger's departure from his seat and/or arrival at the restroom and transmits the signal to the central controller. Likewise, the central controller may receive a signal when a passenger leaves the restroom. The central controller updates the queue based on the information it receives." And we thought that child tracking was evil... Now even adults are tracked to the toilet.

    Besides I don't get why the phone is needed here. Considering the beaurocracies of the crew I wonder if we would see some people crying over the phone that they need the toilet fast and for what reason.
  • Too many people... (Score:2, Interesting)

    by iiioxx ( 610652 )
    ...have a bad sense of humor and money to burn. Some of these patents that have come to light lately seem more like practical jokes, or like two guys betting each other over whether or not the patent will be granted. How else can you explain a patent on a procedure like going to the bathroom?
  • Would you say... (Score:1, Redundant)

    by NitroWolf ( 72977 )
    ... that they FLUSHED the patent ?

  • From the patent:

    Primary Examiner: Lee, Benjamin C.

    I think they need to demote examiners that allow such crap turn into patents!
  • by rollingcalf ( 605357 ) on Saturday October 12, 2002 @11:24AM (#4436931)
    The patent system is broken, and the fact that they issued 187,882 patents in a single year is itself evidence of that. Patents are essentially like world records; there is no way so many new and nonobvious creations can be produced in a year.

    The USPTO's procedure is to give the benefit of the doubt to the would-be patentee, and then let the courts sort it afterwards if its validity is questioned. This is based on their apparent philosophy that to mistakenly NOT grant a patent that has validity is more harmful than granting an invalid patent, so they prefer to err on the side of the patent applicant.

    But reality works the other way. It is more harmful to grant a bad patent than to deny a good patent application. Denying a patent does not necessarily mean the product will not be produced. The rejected patentee can still go ahead and create the product, and the rest of the world is also free to create the product, although they would not have the benefit on the monopoly. On the other hand, granting a patent that should not have been granted prevents or hinders everybody else from producing it (and derivative products) even though they could have thought of it on their own. In addition, sometimes the patentee does not even produce any working models of the product, so the effect is that the patent has caused the product not to be produced at all. Caution should be exercised in favor of the rest of the world, not the patent applicant.

    There should be a penalty for submitting a patent that gets rejected on the basis of prior art. If the fine is kept by the USPTO, they will have plenty incentive to search properly for prior art, and the applicants will also have added incentive to search for it. If the patent is actually granted and the applicant uses the patent to extract license fees, and prior art is discovered afterwards, the penalty should be based on the license fees which the patentee has extracted.

    Sounds brutal, but by making a patent application you are making an extremely strong claim against the rest of the human race -- that none of the other 6 billion people has done what you have done -- and attempting to put a restriction on their behavior, that you better be damn well sure that your creation is so brilliant that nobody else has done it before. One of the main reason why the USPTO has so little time to review patents is the high volume of trivial patent applications. If you aren't just about 100% sure that no prior art exists, get out of the way and keep the system open for those who do have actual legitimate inventions.

    To help enforce the nonobviousness aspect of it, when a patent application is submitted there should be a short description, of maybe 50 words or less that summarizes what the supposed invention does, with care taken not to reveal any of the claims or how it is actually done. Then that summary should be published, after which there is a set time period of maybe a month or two during which the public is allowed to submit documentation or even a working product that does the same thing. If somebody else can come up with a solution in a few weeks based on such a short description, it does not meet the novel and nonobvious criteria. If any the submitted documents or products are substantially similar to the patent application, the patent must be rejected. Some things would only need a short phrase like "online auction" or "one click shopping" or "swinging on a swing" [uspto.gov] for somebody else to come up with a solution in a few days or even hours. ("Substantially similar" can be defined as whether the submission would be likely to be guilty of patent infringement if the patent were actually granted and the submission created afterwards, and there can be a nominal fee for such submissions to discourage frivilous challenge submissions, if the volume is too high.)
    • "Sounds brutal, but by making a patent application you are making an extremely strong claim against the rest of the human race -- that none of the other 6 billion people has done what you have done -- and attempting to put a restriction on their behavior, that you better be damn well sure that your creation is so brilliant that nobody else has done it before".

      Just a brilliant phrase (hope you don't claim a patent for it). You said the most fundamental thing about patents. And that's what genuine patents are for, no matter the positive or negative effects of the restriction. This should be written in granite over the US Patent Office building, so that anyone can see it well. People mod this up.
    • While there are some good ideas in here, I think the author misses the point of the patent system, which is not so much to reward people for being innovative, as it is to reward them for making their innovations public. There's a fair amount of evidence for this. The Founders were very opposed to the trade guilds of the time (which were innovating just fine, but were keeping their innovations secret).

      People who gripe about software patents might feel a little better if they view them as a reward for open-sourcing their code (eventually :-).

      Granted, the patent office issues bogus patents. A lot of them in fact. But that's a very hard judgement call to make. It's very easy to say that something is obvious even 1.5 years in the future. In fact, it's a great sign if things that are patentable now are obvious in a couple years. That means the system is working.

      Another thing I've never understood about people who argue against patents is an argument made in this comment: denying a patent won't ensure that it won't be produced, but granting a bad one might cause people to not do it. This is a bogus argument. If the patent is *so* obviously bogus, no one will actually avoid infringing it, and if it isn't where do they get off being so self-righteous about it?

      • "While there are some good ideas in here, I think the author misses the point of the patent system, which is not so much to reward people for being innovative, as it is to reward them for making their innovations public."

        I am very well aware that was the (original) intent of the patent system. Which is all the more reason to be very restrictive of how patents are awarded, because many patented "innovations" would have been made public anyway without the patent. The priority should be weighted towards what is best for the public, not what reward the patent applicant deserves. The granting of the patent is only a means to accomplish the goal of increasing the innovations which can benefit the public. That is why business methods should not be patentable, because if a company can increase profits by changing their method of doing business, the company who thought of it will do it anyway regardless of whether they can obtain a patent for it. Or somebody else would think of it and implement it. And that is exactly what they were doing until recently when business methods were declared patentable.

        "People who gripe about software patents might feel a little better if they view them as a reward for open-sourcing their code (eventually:-)."

        Software patents do not require the patent holder to reveal any source code. The patent holder only has to show the algorithms. Publishing but restricting the use of an algorithm for twenty years does less to foster innovation than if the algorithm were kept secret and everybody else was left to come up with another similar algorithm on their own (of which many will be voluntarily published) and were more free to build upon existing algorithms.

        "It's very easy to say that something is obvious even 1.5 years in the future."

        Which is why there needs to be some sort of obviousness test performed before the entire contents of the patent are made available, as I described in my original message.

        "If the patent is *so* obviously bogus, no one will actually avoid infringing it, and if it isn't where do they get off being so self-righteous about it?"

        Barnes and Noble had to avoid using "one click shopping" because of Amazon's patent. Web sites and software developers have had to avoid GIF and JPEG because of the patent claims on them. There are many other cases where people have had to do expensive modifications to work around bogus patents, or they infringe the patent accidentally and get hit with a lawsuit or at least a chilling "cease and desist" letter from lawyers.
    • Patents are essentially like world records; there is no way so many new and nonobvious creations can be produced in a year.
      Obviously, it is not obvious to you. ;)

      But seriously, patents are not like "world records." "World records" are for things we easily understand intellectually ("smallest measured time taken for human to run one mile") but that are physically difficult. Patents are for stunts no one has thought of yet.

      To help enforce the nonobviousness aspect of it, when a patent application is submitted there should be a short description, of maybe 50 words or less that summarizes what the supposed invention does, with care taken not to reveal any of the claims or how it is actually done. Then that summary should be published, after which there is a set time period of maybe a month or two during which the public is allowed to submit documentation or even a working product that does the same thing. If somebody else can come up with a solution in a few weeks based on such a short description, it does not meet the novel and nonobvious criteria. If any the submitted documents or products are substantially similar to the patent application, the patent must be rejected. Some things would only need a short phrase like "online auction" or "one click shopping" or "swinging on a swing" [uspto.gov] for somebody else to come up with a solution in a few days or even hours.

      Hmmmm.... A non-obvious idea for confirming non-obviousness!! Excellent work! Have you thought about taking out a patent?

  • It said in the article IBM has been granted 3,411 patents this year, and makes 1.4 billion from royalties off existing patents.

    I know slashdotters tend to be supportive of IBM because of their Linux funding, but 3400 patents??? I honestly don't think there are that many good, original ideas that can be discovered in one year. It sounds like IBM is abusing the system : I would strongly suspect that much of what they patent is fairly obvious to those in the know or has already occurred to someone else. But instead, IBM has the patents and plans to knee^H^H^H^H anyone who thinks of an idea they happened to have patented and tries to use it.

    This is NOT how it was meant to be. Instead of protecting brilliant inventors who come up with nifty gadgets, these patents are basically a big corporation leaching off the future. With this many patents, I'm sure at least one of them could be argued to apply to just about any conceivable, REAL breakthrough that the REAL inventors make in the computer world. When that happens, IBM will send their lawyers to hit you up for money and you'll have to pay unless you are also a big corporation with enough lawyers on the payroll.
  • by Tablizer ( 95088 ) on Saturday October 12, 2002 @12:20PM (#4437112) Journal
    Deep Brown
  • The system would give customers an estimate of their waiting time to use the restroom and would notify them when the restroom was available and allow them to cancel their reservations.

    ...
    if (shorts.isSoiled) reservation.Cancel();
    ...

  • Anyone find it ironic that their stock price went up 11% on the same day?

  • by werdna ( 39029 ) on Saturday October 12, 2002 @01:20PM (#4437356) Journal
    A funny quote from the article is "But just because the patent office granted this and other questionable patents doesn't mean the system is broken".;)"

    It is tremendously important to understand that it is NOT the mission of the patent office to issue 100% valid and fully examined patents. Such an effort isn't possible, given the definition of validity. Nor is it even possible to issue 100% decent, not obviously invalid, patents. The cost of such examination would be prohibitive, and neither the government nor inventors would be willing to subsidize it.

    A novelty search (which is all the office can do for the sub-thousand dollar fee it receives and examination doesn't review all, or even the best, prior art -- just what can be found with a decent, reasonable review of the search databases. Examiners in some art areas get quite good at it, because they become quickly familiar with a narrow area of art -- and in others (business methods in particular) cannot get good at it because the scope of their examinations is so wildly broad and uncategorized. The office adapts and does ok.

    The system isn't broken, it is acting pretty much as designed. Some places it works better than others, but that is the nature of a human process. The question is not whether bad patents exist (they do), but whether bad patents cause more bad, on balance, than good patents cause good. While that is a reasonable question for debate, it is different from observing from the failure of a few individual examples the supposed bankrupcy of a system at large.

    This is something like saying that the entirety of a Unix system is bad, because it contains a single design failure or because it contains a single bug. We know it has both -- and yet we use it because it is an excellent environment in which to work and be productive.

    (By the way, tha vast majority of spectacularly whacky patents issue, in part, because they are deemed "harmless" or "mostly harmless" by the examiner -- and unworthy of substantive waste of government resources. )
  • by Greyfox ( 87712 ) on Saturday October 12, 2002 @01:52PM (#4437501) Homepage Journal
    I'm pretty sure IBM hires "Will work for food" people at minimum wage and all the bran muffins they can eat. These people circle the bathrooms at various IBM complexes and render them too unpleasant for anyone to stay in for long. Either that or there's a chronic explosive diarrhea handicap of which I am unaware and for which the company is WAY over quota for. It's a virtual guarantee that within 30 seconds of going in for a dump one of these people will come into the bathroom, take the stall RIGHT NEXT to yours (Doesn't matter if there's 1 free stall or 15) and commence emitting the most noxious fumes I have ever encountered.

    I have worked at 3 IBM sites and been in many of their buildings and this has happened almost without fail. There are also "blessed" bathrooms where this never happens. I can only imagine that those are reserved for upper management.

  • The lines on an airplane to wait for a restroom are a nuisance! (Especially now that my company doesn't fly me first class anymore!)

    Being able to press a button ay my seat, and having a light go on when it's my turn to go is a great idea. I'm all for it.

    I don't think this patent was so silly.

    • It's not a silly product, as such, but it is a silly patent.

      Even the "take a number" system at the deli has a computer behind it, and the printer and scanner on the plane are so you'll have a number with you in the aisle to let the door know that you're the actually the one whose turn it is.

      This isn't even an idea, much less a patentable one. There's no such thing as a harmless patent. The "sue people to get settlements" business model is too prevalent and successful to wantonly throw legal backing around.

      Things would be so much better if the USP&TO staff didn't commute via short bus, though.

  • Hopefully IBM hasn't patented a compression algorithm that involves a trough instead of urinals.
  • When swinging on a swing can be patented or when entertaining your house cat with a laser pointer can be patented, it is most certainly broken.

    See the URL below...
  • Patents are supposed to be for IMPLEMENTATIONS of things. Never were they intended for "ideas" or "business methods".

    If you didn't have one you could hold in your hand, you couldn't (originally) get a patent.

    Then they applied patents to business methods, and then software. (which at it's heart, is a number)

    So now, you can patent a number, and not let anybody else print that number.

    I know the hard work decent software takes, I'm an independent software developer myself. But to patent an idea (which is about the most you could claim software to be) is against the original concept of a patent.

    You want ideas? They're cheap!

    Get a 12 pack, go to a family reunion, and ask everybody for their "best ideas". You'll get (under current law) at least 10 patents some thanksgiving for $8.99.

    Crazy. Simply crazy.
  • Lets arrest the entire patent office staff, they have obviously gone mad and need to be stopped before they grant Time-Warner the patent on breathing.
  • Proof techniques #1: Proof by Induction.

    This technique is used on equations with "_n" in them. Induction
    techniques are very popular, even the military used them.

    SAMPLE: Proof of induction without proof of induction.

    We know it's true for _n equal to 1. Now assume that it's true
    for every natural number less than _n. _N is arbitrary, so we can take _n
    as large as we want. If _n is sufficiently large, the case of _n+1 is
    trivially equivalent, so the only important _n are _n less than _n. We
    can take _n = _n (from above), so it's true for _n+1 because it's just
    about _n.
    QED. (QED translates from the Latin as "So what?")

    - this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...

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