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Ask Slashdot: Remote Support For Disconnected, Computer-Illiterate Relatives 334

An anonymous reader writes I use email to communicate with my folks overseas. Their ISP only allows dial-up access to their email account (there is no option of changing ISP), that can receive messages no larger than 1MB nor hold more than 15MB (no hope of changing that either). They are computer-illiterate, click on everything they receive, and take delight on sending their information to any Nigerian prince that contacts them, "just in case this one is true". Needless to say, their PC is always full of viruses and spyware. In my next yearly visit, instead of just cleaning it up, I'd like to gift them with some "hardened" PC to use for email only that would hopefully last the year before someone has to fix it. So far, these are the things I have in mind:
  • Some kind of linux distro, or maybe even mac. Most viruses over there are windows only and propagate via Autorun.inf or by email attachments, not having Windows could prevent both.
  • Some desktop environment that hides anything unrelated to connecting to the net and accessing their account (dial-up software, email client, web browser, exchanging files between their hard disk/email attachments and USB drives). By "hide", I just want the rest to be out of the way, but not entirely removed, so that if necessary, I can guide them over the phone. For this, Ubuntu's Unity seems like a particularly bad solution, but a Gnome desktop with non-removable desktop shortcuts (is this possible?) for the file manager, browser, email client and dial-up program could work. An android system is unlikely to work (they have no wifi, and they were utterly confused with Android's UI).
  • This could be a life saver: some kind of extension to the email client that executes commands on specially formatted emails (e.g., signed with my private key), so that I can do some basic diagnostics or install extra software if I have to. This las point is important: they currently rely on acquaintances who may not be competent (they can't evaluate that) if something happens between my visits. They, most likely, wont know how to deal with anything non-windows, so all tech support would fall on me. (This is the reason I haven't moved them from windows yet.)
  • Another very useful extension would be something to automatically re-assemble attachments split into several emails, to overcome the 1MB message limit.

Does any of that exist? If I have to build that system myself (or parts of it), do you have other suggestions? For the inevitable and completely reasonable suggestion of getting someone competent for tech support: I've tried that too. The competent ones don't last beyond the third visit.

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Ask Slashdot: Remote Support For Disconnected, Computer-Illiterate Relatives

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  • by VTBlue ( 600055 ) on Wednesday September 17, 2014 @08:16PM (#47932883)

    What is the issue with using a web mail provider? Gmail optimizes for low bandwidth links.

    • by Daniel_Staal ( 609844 ) <DStaal@usa.net> on Wednesday September 17, 2014 @08:26PM (#47932961)

      You are making the assumption that Gmail isn't blocked, and that the users in question would be open to changing their email addresses.

      Also, webmail over dialup has the distinct disadvantage of requiring you to be online to read your email. This ties up your phone line, and may cost money. Batch-download is normally a better solution over intermittent links: Connect to get your email, disconnect, read it, write replies, connect to send. Total time online: usually less than a minute.

      • Or use Gmail with an email client and IMAP.

        And, an ISP that blocks email?
        • Or use Gmail with an email client and IMAP.

          Might work, but doesn't solve any of this guy's problems.

          And, an ISP that blocks email?

          Sure. If the Internet service is that bad, I’m guessing it's some developing country that's nationalized the Internet. Therefore, they want you using their servers and services, because half the point is to make spying on you easier. Not particularly uncommon... (Often they'll only block it if it's encrypted or something like that.)

          • by unrtst ( 777550 )

            Or use Gmail with an email client and IMAP.

            Might work, but doesn't solve any of this guy's problems.

            It doesn't solve *ALL* his problems, but it goes a long way to solving several parts of it:

            * that can receive messages no larger than 1MB nor hold more than 15MB
            * They are computer-illiterate, click on everything they receive, and take delight on sending their information to any Nigerian prince that contacts them, "just in case this one is true"

            The former - they'll have more space.
            The latter - gmail has, IMO, one of the best spam filters. I imagine it also does well with viruses, but I've never really worri

      • by Lally Singh ( 3427 ) on Wednesday September 17, 2014 @09:12PM (#47933273) Journal

        There's an offline gmail chrome app that lets you work that way. Also, turn on two-factor for them. They can receive the number via SMS, and it'll help prevent them from being phished. Once set up, it's easy to understand how to do it, and they only need do it every month. (There are a few email providers that provide 2-factor).

        gmail can check a pop3 account on your behalf, and you can set your 'from' address (I haven't checked the constraints on what you can set it to...). So there's not necessarily a need to change email addresses to use gmail.

        if gmail is blocked, then you're in an unusual situation where nobody here can give you good advice without knowing more about what's going on.

        I'm advocating gmail here for three reasons:
        (1) Really good spam filters and phishing warnings that can help keep out scams
        (2) Two-factor authentication
        (3) Easy setup with a chromebook.

        With the last, they can keep all their stuff on drive (and you can just log into drive to help them), and you can chromote in to see their desktop and help. Even video-chat while chromoting.

        • Re: (Score:2, Insightful)

          by postbigbang ( 761081 )

          For other reasons, I'd recommend against.

          1) why raise a red flag (sorry for the pun)

          2) gmail reads all your stuff and sells the keywords to the highest/best bidder, so your privacy is zippo

          3) yes, a good POP3 provider can also reel-in mail from other accounts and become a personal email center.

          4) most of the spam I get desiring replies uses gmail, so training them not to respond to gmail users might be tough; they need training in general and you need to do that first and foremost before making decisions ab

          • by unrtst ( 777550 ) on Wednesday September 17, 2014 @10:46PM (#47933709)

            I'd make this one really simple. Use an auto-updating Linux (like Mint), then setup a menu with few choices. Nothing Windows, and if you send a Mac, be sure it can be supported in their locale.

            Updates, IMO, will be one of the biggest issues. I ran into this with a local (almost/soon-to-be) relative who was stuck on dial up. I just didn't do anything about their VERY slow computer until I got them onto something with some more speed (they were on dial up aol!!!). How in the world do you update/fix windows XP if someone is on dialup? I'm sure it's possible - I downloaded CD's back when I was on 33.6 - but I don't have weeks to spend doing that. I'm not sure exactly what the answer to that should be.

            With that in mind, and with the stories of many virus infections and poor support from their friends, I'd probably try some sort of VM arrangement. Maybe something like:

            * boot to something minimal and hardened (vmware ESX, linux + kvm, whatever you're most comfortable with really)
            * set it up to automatically boot the VM, so that's really (almost) all they see
            * VM install should have multiple disks
            * disk1: OS, fully updated before you send it there, and take a snapshot
            * disk2: data, copy there stuff here or plug in an external drive of theirs or whatever

            If something goes really wrong, just go back to the snapshot.

            Consider putting another VM on there that can do offline virus scan of those other disks (maybe clamav), and possibly integrity checks.

            Could also put another on there that does a call home to you (dialup, wait for connection, ssh somewhere and setup a tunnel - go over 443 or 80 for a better chance of it working, and maybe use dyndns for the hostname).

            Others above recommended gmail. Some other provider should be chosen if at all possible. I like gmail, and am also a fan of fastmail.fm, but pick whatever you want. Pick one that can pull mail from other providers, offers OK amounts of storage, imap (and/or pop3, but imap would be preferable so the data stays on the server and you can wipe their machine easier), and virus and spam protection should be decent too. Having webmail available would also be good, because then you can jump into their mail and clean it up if needed :-)

            For remote access, forget about proxying commands through email. That's a bit crazy.
            Just setup ssh on it and have it run on a variety of ports (22, 80, 443, 65000, whatever), and bookmark something like "whatismyip.com" for them to go to and tell you their IP.
            If you MUST have some other proxied command method, there are some for various IM clients, and there's stuff like logmein. It's trivial to have pidgin run stuff in the shell via a plugin, for example. At least this could be part of something they don't use every day.

        • by thieh ( 3654731 )

          if gmail is blocked, then you're in an unusual situation where nobody here can give you good advice without knowing more about what's going on.

          Get everything through Tor with bridge? That of course assumes that you can install tor with bridge list somewhere else, and at some point update tor on site.

          Speaking of which, OpenBSD/illumos might be a good idea comparatively because of their less popularity compare to linux (so even less malwares target those given what they do on a regular basis.)

      • This is a fair statement. Although I must chip in to state that the off-line gmail app for Chrome does a really nice job to cover that gap.

    • Original poster here... apparently I clicked "Post anonymously". Oops.

      Their "ISP" (note the quotes) wont allow web access other than to the web interface (running Horde/IMP) of their email server. They are stuck with SMTP/POP3.

      Gmail optimizes for low bandwidth links.

      I didn't know that! Is it something I need to configure? When I visit and manage to access the internet for a few minutes, gmail has been unusable (even google's search page takes over a minute to load. Uggh). So hints on how to optimize gmail for very slow links are helpful, not fo

      • by grcumb ( 781340 )

        Gmail optimizes for low bandwidth links.

        I didn't know that! Is it something I need to configure?

        Good News: No, you don't need to configure anything.

        Bad News: Yeah, it's as bad as you remember. The biggest difference is this really condescending message at the top of your screen, saying, "Hi! You're a second-class citizen, so we're sending you to a second-class interface using second-class bytes! NOM NOM!!"

        ... Or something - I can't remember the exact text; I just remember promising myself I'd find the developer who wrote that and emasculate him with rusted baling wire.

        A decent mail client with GMail

        • Oh, I remember that. I thought they had implemented something better. Yep, over there, you give up long before the "Hi! You're a second class citizen" message. I recall that I used some python module that crawled gmail when it was really bad, and that there was some 3rd party "gmail lite" website that creeped me out but people used it nonetheless.

          Apparently /. doesn't let me post too frequently. I've got pretty interesting suggestions in this thread, I won't be able to thank them all or clarify their questi

    • by AmiMoJo ( 196126 ) *

      Get a Chromebook. Gmail integration, virus proof, cheap and low maintenance.

  • Clearly, anonymous reader is a masochist.

    To increase your pleasure, I suggest Damn Vulnerable Linux.
    • Might I suggest a Chromebook? In this case, being partly crippled is a feature.

      Clearly, anonymous reader is a masochist.

      Indeed. Remote tech support for people who will regularly need it is bad enough, when they're your relatives it can be worse (and you can't bail).

  • by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday September 17, 2014 @08:20PM (#47932901)

    You don't need an exotic hardware or software configuration. You just need new folks.

  • by Dwedit ( 232252 ) on Wednesday September 17, 2014 @08:21PM (#47932905) Homepage

    Use a SSH or VNC server, and also use a dynamic DNS client so you have a hostname instead of some random IP address, Then you can control the machine directly when it's online. VNC might be really slow over dialup though, you'd need to use Tight encoding with JPEG quality cranked all the way down to make it usable at all.

    I usually end up tunneling VNC over SSH, and the VNC server only allows connections through the tunnel.

    • Use a SSH or VNC server, and also use a dynamic DNS client so you have a hostname instead of some random IP address, Then you can control the machine directly when it's online....

      His parents live overseas and he visits them only once a year.

      To me that suggests that they are living in time zones at least six to eight hours apart, perhaps more.

    • by isilrion ( 814117 ) on Wednesday September 17, 2014 @08:54PM (#47933173)
      Unfortunately, SSH or VNC require a direct TCP connection. They are firewalled (I should have called them "ESP: email service provider" rather than ISP), except for that mail server. We can't even jabber/irc/anything.
      • If that's true, then your only problem is that they're answering emails to nigerian princes. During your next visit, just tell them in great detail that those types of emails are never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever going to be real. Maybe check into their email interface and see if there's a way to filter keywords related to those types of emails so that they're never tempted.
  • Wtf??! (Score:2, Interesting)

    by Anonymous Coward

    So... Like.... Get them a fax machine instead

  • by SJester ( 1676058 ) on Wednesday September 17, 2014 @08:26PM (#47932959) Journal
    No malware is written for it, it is impervious to network attacks, and it can be restored to the original system image just by shaking.
    • May I suggest an Etch-A-Sketch?

      I was just thinking "Why the hell are these people using a computer when all they're doing is email? Why not just send letters to friends and family?" when I read that, drink out the nose. Thanks a lot.

  • Get them a console (Score:2, Insightful)

    by Anonymous Coward

    Get them a console (as in a game console) with an internet browser app built in. Something like a Wii or a PS3 or something. Set it up so the home page is the webmail interface.

    Safe as you're ever going to get I reckon.

  • by schweini ( 607711 ) on Wednesday September 17, 2014 @08:30PM (#47932991)
    I can whole-heartedly recommend any cheap chromebook. They are basically completely support free, and can be reflashed in an instant.
    I'm not sure how well they work with dial-up, but can't really see why they'd perform worse than any other modern browser.

    I dont know how to hook them up to POTS line, though. But i guess there is some kind of solution for that.

    On another note: where do they live that they don't have access to slightly higher-speed 3G internet? I've travelled through third world countries, and cell-phone-internet seems to be almost omnipresent in some form or another.
    • On another note: where do they live that they don't have access to slightly higher-speed 3G internet? I've travelled through third world countries, and cell-phone-internet seems to be almost omnipresent in some form or another.

      The cellphone provider there (only one, uggh) just recently began selling email access (just to their own pop servers), over 2G, I think, at about $1/Mb. No mobile internet. Roaming from another provider can cost up to $20/Mb. That's why I'm focusing on working with what they have.

      • Re:Chromebook (Score:5, Informative)

        by nine-times ( 778537 ) <nine.times@gmail.com> on Wednesday September 17, 2014 @10:03PM (#47933565) Homepage

        I think you're going to run into a general problem here, in that modern computers are generally not built to work off of such slow Internet connections. They're constantly getting big updates and patches.

        Some people have pointed you in the direction of Chromebooks, which to my knowledge doesn't have a POP3 client available because Google assumes you'll have web access. There may be other reasons why it won't work.

        I think your first instinct might be best. Install Linux. Figure out exactly what applications they need, and install only those apps. You can probably hack something together to run a script when they receive an email from you, but I think you'll be better off just having them run a script manually (tell them 'click on this button') that will collect diagnostic information and email it to you, if you want to do that.

        Pick a relatively stable distro (Debian?), strip it down to the bare necessities and use a lightweight desktop environment. Set it to only download security patches. For any updates more than that, bring a disk when you visit.

        I'm afraid none of this will keep them from responding to Nigerian scammers. Maybe set up their email to only accept messages from whitelisted addresses? Or maybe your parents just can't have the Internet.

        • Absurdly enough, I hadn't even thought about trying to teach them to run a script manually. Even for that I needed a fresh perspective :D. One problem down (I think). Thanks!
  • You could pay about $100 per year to use Skype to call their telephone whenever you want.
    Alternatives to Skype exist.
    Calling cards are possible (I've had success buying from Nobelcom.com).

    You wouldn't be able to attach any photos, but they're not fun with dial up anyway.
    You would have to call your parents when you are all awake, but calls are more personable than email.

    • I think this is as much about training as it is about a technical solution, but here goes.

      My wife clicks on anything, so I set her up a Linux Mint machine. I removed everything from the Desktop, and I took the "menu" button off the bottom bar. She could restore it but she doesn't know how and doesn't care about it.

      Then I put one, and only one, icon on the Desktop --- for Firefox. I made sure everything was set up, installed AdBlock and Ghostery, and that's it. Done. She can do one thing, which is launch

  • by swillden ( 191260 ) <shawn-ds@willden.org> on Wednesday September 17, 2014 @08:36PM (#47933023) Journal

    Though even an out-of-date Linux distro is going to be safer against malware than Windows, keep in mind that it's almost impossible to keep one of the major distros updated with security patches via dialup. I tried that with my father in law's computer for a couple of years, setting up a cron job to dial up automatically late at night, every night, and chip away at the downloads. It fell further and further behind.

    Other than the fact that I don't know if any of them even support dialup, a Chromebook seems ideal for this application. Updates are smaller and less frequent, and ChromeOS is strongly hardened as compared to a standard distro, so it's less worrisome if they miss some. Chrome Remote Desktop would enable you to take control of the machine when needed (that actually works on any platform) and while it's painful at dialup speeds I have used it successfully.

    • by Nimey ( 114278 )

      Chromebooks don't support dialup to the best of my knowledge. Some models have cellular modems, however, and that might be an option here.

  • by frooddude ( 148993 ) on Wednesday September 17, 2014 @08:38PM (#47933055)

    Use fetchmail to pull from their account, drop it in their "inbox" managed by dovecot and create a whitelist via sieve (mail filter). You might even be able to get sieve to do that whole 'exec by email' thing if you want.

    The real key here is that what they see in their 'inbox' is only what you allow them to see since you're dropping everything except your approved From addresses (or similar criteria).

    Option 2: switch to snail mail and cancel their ISP account.

  • Look, just give them Linux (if they will tolerate this -- computer illiterate people still don't like their environment to be changed), and put something in /etc/init.d/rc.local to e-mail you their IP address every time they dial in.

    Alternately, you can just give them a shortcut that displays the IP in a window for them to read to you.

    This way, you can just get them to dial in and troubleshoot their problems via ssh. You may want to have a fresh OS image in a different partition that you can restore from t

    • If they even get a globally routable IP. ISPs in some countries put customers who don't pay extra for a static IP behind carrier grade network address translation (CGNAT) on 100.64.0.0/10 (RFC 6598) or 10.0.0.0/8 (RFC 1918, older practice).
      • by xvan ( 2935999 )
        You can bypass that by reverse SSH, but it doesn't seem like a valid option in this case.
  • Do you time travel to 1995 to visit your parents? In any case, the overall scenario and questions don't make sense. Do they have some sort of dial up service that only allows them to access their email (with a 15MB inbox no less!) and nothing else? If so, not having web access how do they get all these viruses and spam email? If they do have web access, why do they have to use that "blast-from-the-past" email account for which you are trying to find crazy workarounds instead of anything else? It doesn't hav
    • Clearly something is afoul, yes?

      If they can get malicious links and viruses, they can hit the web.

      If they can't hit the web, and they only get port-25 email, and they can only open the attachments they're sent -- why not just give them a mail client that drops the attachments?

    • by tepples ( 727027 )

      Do you time travel to 1995 to visit your parents?

      There's a reason that the trope page for Decade Dissonance [orain.org] has a real life section.

    • Sigh. Original poster here. I'm not trolling. There are many viruses that transmit via email attachment (click_here_for_a_pretty_photo.exe) and USB drives. I am not the only person they comunicate with. As to where the nigerian/spammers got their email, it has leaked over the years.
  • by C0L0PH0N ( 613595 ) on Wednesday September 17, 2014 @08:44PM (#47933103)
    I support a Windows 7 PC in our community center (retirement community). I simply installed Drive Vaccine (http://www.drivevaccine.com/), which is cheap and allows you to either lock the PC down entirely (no virus infection possible :)), or keep say a "documents" folder writable, but locks the rest of the PC down. This PC has run for several years, and is restored to a "baseline" after each restart. Never an infection, as it can't survive the reboot. Users can surf the Internet all they want, and write and receive emails etc, etc. Occasionally, I unlock it to do updates of various sorts, but then I lock it down again. Sounds perfect for your parents.
  • - First solution would be to use a Windows thin client. Set it up, write the configuration to flash and then lock it. If it goes BOOM just turn it off and turn it back on and it will be exactly the same as it was. Mail will have to be on the web because nothing will be saved locally.

    - Second idea would be to use a terminal server / remote desktop. Give them just enough to log into a system that you maintain at your location. Make sure there are no visible links to a web browser (or anything else) on their
  • by wisnoskij ( 1206448 ) on Wednesday September 17, 2014 @08:49PM (#47933135) Homepage

    They ... click on everything they receive, and take delight on sending their information to any Nigerian prince that contacts them, "just in case this one is true".

    Your Relatives should not be on the Internet. Not only will they be scammed out of possibly every cent they have, but they are probably sending spam and viruses to all of us.

  • by BitZtream ( 692029 ) on Wednesday September 17, 2014 @08:50PM (#47933145)

    Thats about the easiest solution to your problems. Pretty much every other solution you see in this thread is going to require more maintenance than a windows machine. You can't expect a bunch of armchair admins to provide you sensible answers, 90% of the response you get here are going to be custom solutions that aren't completely thought out and require 100 times more effort than the person giving them to you realizes. You're just getting spew from a bunch of guys who think they are super clever.

    The solution is to make it so you don't need to support them, and if all they do is browse the web, a Chrome Book is the answer. The down side is that they become Google's bitch, but its probably worth it for your needs.

    • If there is no ability to change ISPs so this won't work; they specifically need to use dial-up to access the email account.
    • by steveha ( 103154 ) on Wednesday September 17, 2014 @09:26PM (#47933371) Homepage

      Agreed on the ChromeBook.

      I'm not sure about making a ChromeBook use dial-up, so the solution is to somehow get a WiFi router on dialup.

      I think there used to be WiFi routers that could manage a modem directly, but there isn't much call for them these days so I doubt you can find one.

      You could set up a computer with Linux just to manage the dialup, and plug that into the router's WAN port. But maybe you can just customize a router to do what you need:

      Buy a router that is well supported by open firmware and has USB ports. Install the open firmware, login as root, then customize the router to do the dialup with a USB modem.

      In the past, I have used TomatoUSB with an Asus RT-N16 router (costs about $80 new). It was a pleasure to work with. The router gives you about 24 MB of usable storage using onboard flash memory, but you can trivially plug in a USB flash drive and have gigabytes of storage if you need it. But you can probably set up the needed scripts to manage the modem in the 24 MB space.

      There are newer routers with bigger onboard flash if you prefer. I only mention the Asus RT-N16 because I have actually worked with one, and it's very inexpensive. And it has plenty of CPU speed and RAM for this application.

      The above solution is cheaper than using a computer to manage the dialup, and should be bulletproof. Also your relatives are unlikely to mess with it.

      P.S. Hmm, I did a quick Google search and there are still routers with dialup support. Here's one for about $150... I've never used one so I don't know how well it works.
      http://www.greatarbor.com/products.html#GAC-252 [greatarbor.com]

    • Are there any POP3 clients for ChromeOS? That seems to be one of his requirements.
  • Comment removed based on user account deletion
  • i don't know where to go with Linux recommendations but pppd on freebsd will allow dialup on demand, but if you don't want that a manual link can be put on the desktop. chflags run as root (chattr if you don't like bsd and insist on linux) can make files immutable then not even root can delete, or move without running the chflags program first. if you want parts of the os to be protected feel free to make immutable files anywhere you feel like it to 'harden' the system the freebsd handbook has a walkthrough

  • Some desktop environment that hides anything unrelated to connecting to the net and accessing their account (dial-up software, email client, web browser, exchanging files between their hard disk/email attachments and USB drives). By "hide", I just want the rest to be out of the way, but not entirely removed, so that if necessary, I can guide them over the phone.

    I don't see enough thought being given here to how his parents use their computer besides sending and receiving their emails.

    Technical support by telephone across multiple time zones does not appeal.

    • New keyboard. New Problems.

      I think it is a safe bet that the folks back home are running Windows and that is all their local dial-up ISP can reasonably be expected to support.

      Local support is the only answer here.

      Not the once-a-year parachute drop --- and not the trans-oceanic telephone call that has to be scheduled across five or six time zones, perhaps more. There is no joy in that even when it is IT Pro to IT Pro.

    • by kesuki ( 321456 )

      the best way to do this is to make a basic user account for normal mode, and an administrator account for accessing everything. all the settings for WM can be made so that admin can see everything wile basic user sees only a custom menubar and desktop and can't actually do anything. if their desktop icons are made immutable they won't be able to remove them, and if you find cheap hardware to run it all on they won't be a target anymore except to spammers/con artists.

      http://linuxgizmos.com/fanless-x86-mini-p [linuxgizmos.com]

  • by enjar ( 249223 ) on Wednesday September 17, 2014 @08:57PM (#47933191) Homepage

    My first instinct is to recommend iPad -- I got my parents one and they haven't booted the Windows machine in years, the dial-up aspect of that could be tricky (you would need a router that dials out via modem -- it's doable, but might be more complex and assumes the presence of a mail client on the iPad that talks to the ISP ... hopefully it's POP or IMAP, but without specifics it's hard to know. But if you must use Windows, it's not an impossible situation. You just need to know where the knobs and switches are, and enable them.

    A lot of other modern stuff is going to not work well with the dialup option.

    For the purposes of the discussion, I'm assuming they are on Windows 7. If they aren't on Windows 7, they need to get there, at least. If they are still on XP that just sucks because a lot of the below stuff isn't there.

    Parental controls:
    I have children and have done a fair bit with the parental controls. In this case, instead of the parental controls being used for kids you would be using them for your parents, which also works. To enable the parental controls, you create a username for your parents as a regular (limited) user. This will prevent them from doing a lot of stuff right off the bat, like installing software. You also should make sure that UAC is enabled. You can create a Admin user for yourself. Once you have set that up, you can download the remainder of the controls from https://familysafety.microsoft... [microsoft.com] , and then control the user account for your parents. You can control what is accessed on the Internet, if they can download stuff, programs they can run, etc.

    You can also do a LOT with Group Policy. Type gpedit.msc at the Run Window and lock down everything you don't want them to change. You can lock down the Desktop, among other things.

    Windows also has the ability to send a Remote Assistance request via email or as a file attachment, which uses Remote Desktop to allow screen access and control. Given that you are going to be doing this over dialup to some other part of the world, you can set your client appropriately to minimize bandwidth utilization by dropping the amount of colors being shipped back, not showing the desktop, etc -- it's all under the "Experience" tab of the Remote Desktop client, and I've successfully used it over some pretty slow connections with decent results -- it will outperform VNC in many areas, especially screen refresh time since you can cut out a lot of the unnecessary stuff.

    If you are going to do the above, get it sorted out on the beginning of your next visit since when you lock stuff down it's not hard to be too tight and stop stuff from working that should actually be working.

  • My suggestion is to go with a Mac, if something goes wrong, there is at least a chance that someone else can fix it.

    If you go with the linux or locked down windows options, they are going to be in trouble if it goes wrong.

  • by captjc ( 453680 ) on Wednesday September 17, 2014 @09:08PM (#47933251)

    Apparently there are Wireless routers that are designed to connect via dialup (for instance This Router [greatarbor.com].) With that, I would go with a Chromebook / Chromebox or an iPad.

    Given the constraints, that is probably the best you can get. However, you could probably experiment with an old Win CE Thin Client or an old WebTV and try to get either to work, but neither are particularly great solutions.

  • by h4ck7h3p14n37 ( 926070 ) on Wednesday September 17, 2014 @09:08PM (#47933255) Homepage

    Send them a bootable disc or USB stick with a Linux or BSD distro on it. They can use a second USB stick for any data they want to retain.

  • I know it seems off topic but if you had them run Vidalia (autostart on)+TorBrowser, that'd stop a lot of the crap toolbar/plugin stuff that a "normal" browser would allow and I think it also blocks some classes of dangerous downloads.
  • You access their email inbox. Anytime your parents receive an email, you print it out and snail-mail the printout to your parents. They then send their reply to you, and you type it in.
  • If they are using an internal WinModem, drivers and the ability to access this over linux may be severely limited. I would suggest if their only access point is a good old fashioned screeching modem that they get brought an external one (assuming that they don't already have one)

  • Deep Freeze (Score:4, Informative)

    by apraetor ( 248989 ) on Wednesday September 17, 2014 @09:23PM (#47933351)
    Set the computer up with all the software they'll need, disable any admin access by them, install something akin to Deep Freeze. Every time they reboot things will revert automagically. You can create a small partition for the email app's data folders to serve as a persistant store, or you could just migrate them to simple webmail. GMail can check pop3/imap accounts for you.
  • by Zanadou ( 1043400 ) on Wednesday September 17, 2014 @09:28PM (#47933383)

    How about a Macintosh SE/30 and Cyberdog? [wikipedia.org]

    I'm only half serious.

  • um... (Score:5, Interesting)

    by Charliemopps ( 1157495 ) on Wednesday September 17, 2014 @09:30PM (#47933393)

    You don't need any of that.
    Get a LiveCD of any os you want. Burn it, you're done.
    You boot to the CD/DVD and its a clean OS every boot. They can't break it because they can't write to it.

    To be really safe, tape the DVD drive shut.

  • I can't speak to your other questions except the last one. You can get around email size limitations by uuencoding the attachment and splitting it into multiple files and the uudecoding them to merge them back into a single file. Software such as 7-zip will do this too. Back in the modem days it was a very useful tool to break up a file so a couple of failed deliveries wouldn't screw up the whole download. Just request the part you didn't get. I think Usenet still uses it for posting a file in multiple mess

  • Setup a hard drive or usb key with a re-installation image so that if they do experience trouble, they can just re-image their machine. All updates and software they need already installed.

    Or you could have the system dual boot. Normal windows boot, but you can have them grub boot into linux and that will give you a pristine platform to log-in and save files/re-image their machine remotely via partition image. You have them boot into linux, and then you can operate on a comatose window partition witho

  • Simple. Don't mess with linux. Not for them.

    Also consider the ancient wisdom about giving one a fish or teaching them catch a fish... and spend six months training them to masquerade as Nigerian princes.

  • Google it. Takes a bit to set up but its great. Smaller then 1 mb.

  • Your parents, their character as you describe it and their unique, unchangeable circumstances present an unsolvable problem given your goals.

    You must let them go and allow them to deal with their own problems on their own time and spending (or wasting) their own money.

    You cannot save, much less help, your parents because their circumstances and behaviors offers you no alternative.

  • Can you get them to take a computer class?
  • by Richard Kirk ( 535523 ) on Thursday September 18, 2014 @07:43AM (#47935155)
    I gave my mum (95) an old PowerPC laptop I got for the price of buying a replacement power supply. It is running a version of OS that probably is no longer updated, but turning off automatic updates doesn't hurt.. I have also stuck on an Applesript that e-mails me when the machine powers up, which she does every morning to let me know she is OK. She is probably a bit less click-happy then your users.

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