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Wired News 2006 Vaporware Awards

Posted by CmdrTaco on Wed Dec 27, 2006 12:02 PM
from the it's-that-time-of-year-again dept.
It's funny. Laugh.
silentounce writes "Wired News has released the winners of its 9th annual Wired News Vaporware Awards. I won't list any of them in the summary because I don't want to spoil anyone's surprise. They have some interesting entries, one that is more a concept of a product than an actual product. I'm not sure how you can claim something is vaporware if it hasn't even been given a specific name or a developer yet, but apparently they think they can. "
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[+] Entertainment: Wired's 2007 Vaporware Awards 195 comments
Braedley sends word that Wired's annual vaporware list is up, and a number of products this community has discussed made the cut. The top spot, the position of most dishonor, was almost a foregone conclusion. "Another December, another list, another crowning achievement by the Emperor of the Ethereal, the Head Honcho of Hype, Duke Nukem Forever. We were going to disqualify him out of pity, but Sir Duke is back for 2007 thanks to a few leaked screenshots and an overwhelming number of votes. DNF creators 3D Realms even chose this week to debut a well-publicized video trailer for Duke's long-awaited return. Alas, a trailer is not a game, so — long live the king!"
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Wired News 2006 Vaporware Awards 50 Comments More /

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  • Nothing for you to see here. Please move along (Score:3, Funny)

    by Klaidas (981300) on Wednesday December 27 2006, @12:04PM (#17378028) Homepage
    Hmmm... story vaporware?

  • As always, you-know-who is #1 (Score:5, Interesting)

    by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday December 27 2006, @12:06PM (#17378076)
    Here's the list of major accomplishments that have been achieved since they announced it back in 1997: http://duke.a-13.net/ [a-13.net]

    • Re: (Score:3, Informative)

      by Thansal (999464)
      ha!

      that is an awsome list.
      # Over 75 games based in the MegaMan universe, and 12 games featuring MegaMan universe character cameos.
      # Over 50 games based in the Star Wars universe.
      # Mario has appeared in 58 different video games.


      Those are just fun statistics :D

  • Vaporware (Score:3, Insightful)

    by phoenixwade (997892) on Wednesday December 27 2006, @12:08PM (#17378094) Homepage
    Is it just me? or is listing "Duke Nukem Forever" as number one yet again becoming a tired old joke?

    • Re:Vaporware (Score:5, Funny)

      by Dunbal (464142) on Wednesday December 27 2006, @12:15PM (#17378210)
      tired old joke?

            Old jokes never tire on Slashdot, you insensitive clod!
    • Nah, Duke Nukem Forever is the king of vaporware. If the 3D Realms had just dropped the idea of Duke Nukem Forever then the joke would be old. However, they claim to still be developing it which is what makes it so damn funny. DKF should have gone the way of Team Fortress II and just let it die a silent death but 3D Realms continues to keep promising it.

      By the way I still want to play Team Fortress II.

      • Re:Vaporware (Score:5, Informative)

        by Thansal (999464) on Wednesday December 27 2006, @12:37PM (#17378536)
        Actualy TF2 is currently slated for release with HL2:EP2 (I think that has a 2nd quarter '07 date, but I don't remember atm).

        The original TF2 was scrapped around the same time as HL2 started dev, but that was because they just compleatly restarted the project based on Source.

      • Re:Vaporware (Score:5, Funny)

        by jbrader (697703) <jbrader@gmail.com> on Wednesday December 27 2006, @02:24PM (#17379882)
        My theory on DNF goes like this:

        They really are still working on it. Sometime in the near future they're going to release a demo and set a firm shipping date. We'll all play the demo and it'll so rad everyone will have a video game induced orgasm and toss out all their copies of the now obsolete Halo. The day before the actual release Jesus will return and send everyone off to their just reward, meaning no one will ever actually get to play the damn thing since video games are way to evil to be allowed in Heaven and way to fun to be allowed in Hell.

  • A380 is not vaporware... (Score:5, Insightful)

    by IdleTime (561841) on Wednesday December 27 2006, @12:08PM (#17378108) Journal
    It is already flying. Just because it is not in commercial use yet, doesn't make it vapor ware. Duke Nukem is.
    • [A380] is already flying. Just because it is not in commercial use yet, doesn't make it vapor ware.

      The X-33 flew as well, but that was total vaporware. Until someone accepts delivery of an A380, it will remain as vaporware as Airbus continues to delay shipments in order to "work out the bugs".

      • Re:A380 is not vaporware... (Score:5, Funny)

        by east coast (590680) on Wednesday December 27 2006, @01:10PM (#17378932)
        I hate to bust your bubble but I just got my A380 delivered yesterday. It's sweet.

      • Re:A380 is not vaporware... (Score:4, Informative)

        by Richard_at_work (517087) <[moc.liamg] [ta] [ecirpdrahcir]> on Wednesday December 27 2006, @01:20PM (#17379044)
        Actually the X-33 never flew, the project was cancelled when the prototype was 85% complete.

        The A380 is not vapourware - its in production, the delays are due to production problems and not technical issues with the concept itself. Infact, the A380 delays are the perfect example of incompatabilities in IT based projects - different parts were designed with different versions of the CATIA system, leading to problems with the wiring bundles that Airbus are sorting out now.

        Airlines also disagree with you - two airlines (Singapore and Qantas) placed followon orders to their originals this year, even before they had the first one delivered, so that says something about confidence in the aircraft.

          • You're correct. I was confusing the hydrogen tank explosion as having happened during the scheduled 1999 test flight. Replace X-33 with the DC-X, however, and you have the same result.

            Again, I wouldnt class the DC-X as vapourware either - it flew, it was a prototype and it was cancelled by NASA. McDonald Douglas made no extravagant claims about its operation or production, it was cancelled by NASA after the prototype crashed and it was deemed a replacement would put the project overbudget.

            Production delays are still delays. Until the first fully operational craft is delivered to a customer, it is still vaporware. I have no doubt that it will happen eventually, but that doesn't stop the vapor phase from occurring.

            And I still disagree with you - classing an aircraft that has received its type certification from the two most stringent aviation bodies in the world as vapourware is pushing the term somewhat.

    • Most of the list isn't vaporware. For example SEDs really exist, people have seen them in operation (and are impressed with what they see). However that doesn't change the fact that from a consumer standpoint, they are vaporware. They were promised, they haven't been delivered. I can't go out and buy one.

      Likewise I'm sure that DNF exists in some form, I'm sure that they haven't just been doing nothing all this time. However it's not out, and thus is vapour.

  • Duke (Score:4, Funny)

    by tedgyz (515156) * on Wednesday December 27 2006, @12:10PM (#17378136) Homepage
    Yes, Duke Nukem Never is still there. It is eligible for a lifetime achievement award.

    Move along. Next article.

  • Airbus A380 (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Timesprout (579035) on Wednesday December 27 2006, @12:12PM (#17378168)
    Vapour? Have you seen the size of the fucking thing? Anyway its been built, tested and approved for flight. Yes there are difficulties but they will possibly make it a white elephant, but certainly not vapourware.
    • If it every crashes there will be quite a lot of vapour.

    • Vapored (Score:3, Insightful)

      by fm6 (162816)

      Yes there's a prototype for the A380. There's also a demo for Spore. But until Airbus figures out how to insert those 300 miles of wiring, the prototype is meaningless. Without any wiring, a jetliner is just a ... I want to say "big doorstop" but somehow that's not right.

      You do sort of have a point. "Vaporware" originally described products that never got beyond the Breathless Announcement, and were usually created solely to stifle interest in competing products. Only one or two products on the Wired list

  • The A380 is flying. Far from a spruce goose.

    • the spruce goose flew though. It wasn't official because it hadn't been cleared for flight but it did fly.

      The A380 is just on perpetual back order.

    • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

      by Blakey Rat (99501)
      The Spruce Goose flew, also. (Well, kindof... it proved it could take off, at least.) But neither airliner was delivered to any customers, therefore, they are both vaporware.
  • Hmmm... the word vaporware was used to describe a product that NEVER WILL be relleased and was just speculation... Those lists are describing products that often are late. Last year both Vista and IE7 made the list and guess what? They are out!

    So many of those products may be "lateware" but not vaporware. Hell, even Duke Nukem may be out some day AFAIK.

    • Re:Vaporware? (Score:4, Funny)

      by Dunbal (464142) on Wednesday December 27 2006, @12:18PM (#17378260)
      Hell, even Duke Nukem may be out some day AFAIK.

            Aww come on, now you're pushing it, man!

    • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

      by arth1 (260657)

      Hmmm... the word vaporware was used to describe a product that NEVER WILL be relleased and was just speculation... Those lists are describing products that often are late. Last year both Vista and IE7 made the list and guess what? They are out!

      Due to the lack of clairvoyance in the media industry, it's hard to tell beforehand which products will never be released. So the working definition of vaporware is a product that was promised a certain time, but wasn't release. Many delayed products get canned, som

  • I think the developers of DNF have been using these [wikipedia.org] maybe a little too much.

    TLF

  • I like ruining surprises (Score:5, Informative)

    by MasterC (70492) <cmlburnett@[ ]il.com ['gma' in gap]> on Wednesday December 27 2006, @12:18PM (#17378254) Homepage
    I like ruining surprises (uh, ok, whatever Mr. Story Poster) and I hate multi-page stories. Wikipedia links provided for the fun of it

  • I can't believe that Duke Nukem Forever knocked Windows Vista for the MIA award. For five years we were promised all these wonderful technologies that would be part of Windows Vista and the only thing that's coming out next month is a Windows XP upgrade.

  • Misread (Score:3, Funny)

    by Rob Carr (780861) on Wednesday December 27 2006, @12:24PM (#17378354) Homepage Journal
    I thought the one item on the list read Skype Sybian.

    I bet it would sell....

  • Windows Media Player for Linux? (Score:3, Insightful)

    by acroyear (5882) <jws-slashdot@aboutjws.info> on Wednesday December 27 2006, @12:25PM (#17378372) Homepage Journal
    I'm still waiting on that one... ...of course it doesn't really matter much since iTunes is in control of the audio-for-sale and video-for-sale market these days. DIVx-based AVIs are becoming the default for "free" video content, particularly from Europe.

    As I wrote before here, WMP for Linux was meant as a strategic move to scare content owners away from the open-sourcing of Real Networks' player and codecs, by promising WMP-based DRM for the Linux market. It seemed to work, but rather than go to WMP (which had technical issues as shown by early BootlegTV downloads from the DGM record label (King Crimson)), they held off until iTunes set the new DRM standard. M$'s been behind ever since.
  • I'm actually thinking that DNF will win *despite* being released -- and two or three successive years. It's too embedded in the culture at this point. How else can you describe the archetype of vaporware? [The obvious justification is that the /real/ DNF, i.e. the one promised since 97, will not have shipped. Even if DNF wins, the spirit of DNF can live on.]

    I can see the meme already: "This is what DNF should have been" for new game demos....
  • In Wright's Spore, which is being developed by Maxis, the player guides a species through the grand process of evolution -- from a single-cell organism to star-hopping superbeings. Everything the user creates will be compiled into a giant database and shared among all the game's online players.

    Evolution is defined as unguided. The above is a description of Intelligent Design, not evolution. The player is essentially the god of a universe built via Theistic Evolution, and every game play decision is a mi

    • "In a game based on true Evolution, you would just watch everything unfold randomly according to the game rules after perhaps tweaking some initial conditions (you are allowed some Initial Design of the rules / state at the Big Bang, since that doesn't involve any god/world interaction)."

      And that is a game how? And it is "loosely" based on evolution, things you eat and how you behave determine some of the outcomes. Obviously it's more complex than that, but it is not just entirely designing. With your l
    • Now that owuld be an awsome mod for Spore.

      just have some way for the creatures to develope based on what problems they encountered. No it would not be "real" evoloution, but it would be awsome to watch.
  • When is the next version of the Palm OS coming out?
  • Please stop posting Wired stories. We all already read Wired on a daily basis, just like we read Slashdot. Why post it here days after we've already read it? Just please stop doing it already.

  • Wrong Aircraft (Score:5, Insightful)

    by AK Marc (707885) on Wednesday December 27 2006, @03:08PM (#17380350)
    The Airbus is on the list but not the flying car? Moller's Skycar [moller.com] has been 2 years away from completed testing for the past 10+ years and has been in development for somewhere around 40 years. If any aircraft deserves to be on the list, it's that one.

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