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Yet Unuzeer Internet Treckeeng Ixplueet 92

Posted by timothy from the depertment-ooff-bleckpepers dept.
Um de hur de hur de hur. Ununymuoos in Indy vreetes: "Su yuoo'fe-a shoot ooffff yuoor cuukeees, blucked thuse-a bunner-ed seetes, und instelled Joonkbooster. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! Feeleeng secoore-a in yuoor ununymeety? Vell, Merteen Puul et Leenooxcere-a Oostreleea knoos a vey zeey cun steell treck yuoo vhee yuoo soorff: By useeng zee HTTP ceche-a-cuntrul heeder. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! It's fer mure-a defeeuoos thun cuukeees, und mure-a deefffficoolt tu bluck, tuu. Hees erteecle-a Zee Meunteeme-a Ixplueet veell geefe-a yuoo a descreepshun und a demunstreshun." Es a bunoos, Merteen's vreeting is foonny und cleer. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! Velcume-a tu Stunderd Perunueea Teeme-a.
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Yet Unuzeer Internet Treckeeng Ixplueet More

Yet Unuzeer Internet Treckeeng Ixplueet

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  • uh theenk three eepril feewls jukes eez enuf.

  • umm (Score:1)

    by ttyp0 ( 33384 )
    can we have this in english please?
  • ...dat massah Timothy eesa waitin' fer deesa Phantom Menace toosa come oot onsa video tape.

    What the hell is this guys? As if hemos's earlier pidgin post wasn't enfuriating enough, now Timothy has gotta get in on the act too??
    what the hell?

  • It's my physics TA!

  • Are we going to have to deal with this all day? I know you're editors, but it really seems to seem a bit unoriginal and quite annoying after the first April Fools post.

    DON'T be a "First Post" troll!

    ----
  • Yeah, let's hope the rest of today's posts aren't as "funny".

  • Andover.net seeks injunction against Advogato (Score:5)

    by raph ( 3148 ) on Friday March 31, 2000 @10:42PM (#1157763) Homepage
    I know this is offtopic, but Slashdot readers have a right to know, and they're sure as hell not going to post it on the front page.

    Maybe some of you have heard about the legal battle brewing between Andover.net (slashdot's corporate parent) and Advogato [advogato.org]. Well, today the shit hit the fan - Andover filed an injunction to shut the site down. The full story is on PRNewswire [63.196.208.222]. I'm pissed and I'm going to fight this, but I don't have the resources for a protracted legal battle.

    Thanks to everybody who's sent me letters of support.
  • Well.. Incase any of you are interested, here's the German to English Babelfish Translation

    Around de hur de hur de hur. Ununymuoos in Indy of vreetes: " Su yuoo'fe a shoot ooffff yuoor cuukeees, blucked thuse a bunner OD seetes, and instelled Joonkbooster. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! Feeleeng secoore a in yuoor ununymeety? Vell, Merteen Puul et Leenooxcere a Oostreleea knoos a vey zeey cun steell treck yuoo vhee yuoo soorff: By useeng zee HTTP ceche a cuntrul more heeder. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! It's of fer mure a defeeuoos thun cuukeees, and mure a deefffficoolt do bluck, tuu. Hees erteecle a Zee Meunteeme a Ixplueet veell geefe a yuoo a descreepshun and a demunstreshun. " It a bunoos, Merteen's vreeting is foonny and more cleer. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! Velcume a do grant-ground Perunueea Teeme a

  • Last year = good, this = dubioous (Score:3)

    by RaveX ( 30152 ) on Friday March 31, 2000 @10:42PM (#1157765)
    The User Friendly/Segfault scam was amusing, this year's /. jokes are terrible. I'm officially "complaining about lack of options," just in case there's ever a poll.
    ---sig---
  • For crying out loud everyone! Timothy may have said it in a difficult way, but HE HAS A GOOD POINT!

    His point is this: Eee huupe thaat uum dooses non-seenseekal. Eee huupe thaat yuuuu dooonn't booothar triiiing tu mike seensa ot oll!

    Don't forget that either. It's true for every /. reader.

    Thanks Timothy, I feel inspired.
  • For those not fluent in Swedish Chef speak:

    Yet Another Internet Tracking Explot.

    So you've shut off your cookies, blocked those banner ads (...?), and installed JunkBuster. Feeling secure in your anonymity? Well, Martin Paul at Linuxcare... etc.
  • Welcome to the jungle. Advogato wasn't the only one. See this article [advogato.org] for what they're doing to kuro5hin.org as well. Looks like it'll be "One World, One, Web, One News Site" if slashdot and andover have their way. If you'd like to join the boycott of andover-owned media, you may discuss this issue on kuro5hin [kuro5hin.org].

    I urge you all to spread the word about this heinous tripe, and to boycott this site and all andover holdings until they stop trying to sue the competition out of existence.

    --

  • Now this is News for Nerds, Stuff that matters!
  • Before everyone starts spouting off about this, uninformed, stay calm and follow the links!

    Look-and-feel cases are old news, but they're coming back in a big way, and patent infringement is serious business, in this case US Patent number 5,876,324, which Andover might use to put kuro5hin in a world of pain!

    I say we Slashdot Slashdot about what we think of Andover.net's behavior!
    ---
    pb Reply or e-mail; don't vaguely moderate [152.7.41.11].
  • What the fuck? Are you serious?

    The timestamps on the articles posted to advogato is Mars 31.

    I really, really, really hope this is a bad joke!?!?


    --
    "Rune Kristian Viken" - arcade@kvine-nospam.sdal.com - arcade@efnet

  • Violation (Score:3)

    by HerrNewton ( 39310 ) <thoiigd3pn5p2500 ... il.com minus bsd> on Friday March 31, 2000 @10:53PM (#1157772) Homepage
    Slashdot is a news portal for geeks. Slashdot's mission is to post links to relevant news around the net. Slashdot's primary mission is to spread information.

    Posts such as this, masking news in some twisted, somewhat racially slurred (it can be read into it), is violating a primary rule of communication: Communicate, damnit, or shutup. (Specifically it violates Paul Grice's {philosopher} Rule of Manner:)



    ----
  • Nice try. Had me going for a couple of minutes -- right down to the patent on "getting a community together and selling out to a company that IPOs months later" :-)

    Definitely worth a read and a laugh ;-)
  • Ok.....time for you slashdot guys to take a vaction....honestly, you are really starting to scare us. This really isn't the thing I wanted to see at 3 in the morning....;-)

    It's ok if you guys can post this, but if any of us did something like this in the comments...well, we'd be living in -1 score-land.....;-)

    Or perhaps this is all the result of a massive Swedish Chef binge?

    -bugbbq
  • ...now with MentalPlex(Tm). pretty funny...www.google.com
  • If you read the PR Newswire story, you'd also find:

    RedHat and VA are in a bidding war for "Harry Potter"

    Verisign acquires Proctor and Gamble

    Al Gore announces new initiative to "Open Source the Internet"

    Personally, I'm taking this with more than a few grains of salt. If this is a joke, its a pretty stupid one.

  • Thoughts from OOG (Score:5)

    by OOG_THE_CAVEMAN ( 165540 ) on Friday March 31, 2000 @10:56PM (#1157777)
    Timothy, while I understand that this the initial day of April, also regarded as the prank day April Fool's, I still must question the intentions of your article.

    You see, we at slashdot try to respect this forum as a posting area where the intelligent, wise, and technologically saavy can exchange valuable information and even discuss ponderous philosophical issues. Indeed, in my own posts, I work exceptionally hard to present my arguments in clear, crisp, and coherent manner such that others my understand and benefit from what I have to share intellectually. I expect and recieve the same treatment from the other fine members of the slashdot community.

    While, I again would like to reinforce that the aforementioned post does have its moments in jest, the crude and garbled presentation only takes away from slashdot and its respectability. I expected more high brow, intellectual humor from people like you and this site. And to be honest, any relevance contained in the actual article is lamentably lost because of the coarse summary of it that you display. I implore you, sir, to consider the levity of such a practical joke and to present your humorous intentions in other ways so that we readers may enjoy and comprehend your humor instead of simply staring a the screen with a baffled haze on our faces.

    I realize that many of my slashdot peers, including the moderators who evaluate and critique the posts of slashdot, may consider this plea a troll or offtopic or such, but I must butress my current argument by saying that timothy's presentation of the article fully justifies my heated response. Humor is humor, and a joke is a joke, but I really cringe at the thought of deciphering such babbling, nonsensical language. I, for one, never have and never will speak in such confusing tongues, and I feel it benefits the quality of my posts and allows others to glean from it. And I respect my aquaintances at slashdot for doing so as well.

    In conclusion, I would like to ask that you, timothy, would reconsider the obvious impulses to perform such a chilidish joke before the deed is done. Indeed, I have managed to see some humor in your joke, but the cost is at the quality and respectability of this fine web site. I trust your good judgement and am fully assured that you will make the correct decision should the thought present itself in the future. And if you do not, I am afraid that I, OOG THE CAVEMAN, may find myself compelled to approach you and rupture your cranium.

    Cheers and Happy April Fool's Day,
    OOG THE OPEN SOURCE CAVEMAN

    OOG SAY YOU APRIL FOOL!!!
  • Maybe I'm just skeptical as hell, but I couldn't help but notice that this is highly improbable as well as the fact that it *is* April 1st.

    *shrug*
  • So, you've shut off your cookies, blocked those banner ad sites, and installed junkbuster. Feeling secure in your anonimity? Well, Martin Paul and LinuxCare Australia knows a way they can still track you when you surf: By using the http cache control header. Its far mare devious than cookies, and far more difficult to block too. His article at the ??? will give you a description and a demonstration. As a bonus, martins writing is funny and clear. Welcome to Standard Pereunuea Team.
  • Looks like someone has been hitting the Dialectizer a little too much, though I do think the Swedish Chef has to be one of the funnier dialects to choose from. You can actually check out web pages (and do limited surfing) and have all text displayed like that. Check it out at: http://rinkworks.com/dialect/ It one of the more interesting things the web has to offer.
  • Well, I'm glad someone around here other than me can understand this. C'mon people, you all need to watch a little more Muppets!!

    I'll see if I can translate this quickly:

    ==============================
    "So you've shut off your cookies, blocked those banner ads, and installed JunkBuster. Feeling secure in your anonymity? Well, Martin Paul at Linuxcare Australia knows a way they can still track you while you surf: By using the HTTP ceche-a-cuntrul[can't really read this correctly]. Hurty hurty schnipp schnipp! It's far more diffused(?) than cookies, and more hard to block too. His article, the Meantime Exploit, will give you a description and a demonstartion." It's a bonus. Merteen's writing is funny and clear. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! Welcome to Standard Perunia(?) Team.
    ===================================

    So I couldn't understand it 100 percent. So sue me!

    ==

  • Re:Andover.net seeks injunction against Advogato (Score:3)

    by Anonymous Coward on Friday March 31, 2000 @11:11PM (#1157782)
    The patent that was supposedly infringed was "US5876324: Penile stimulator device using turbulent water flow and method of use". Uhh, I didn't want to see pictures...

    Anyhow, nice one guys. I considered removing Slashdot and Freshmeat links from my home page before I realized which day it was!

  • Ok Happy April fools day... I was bored so I thought I would translate this for people who don't speak this special language! =)

    Anonymous in Indy writes: "So you've shut off your cookies, blocked those bannered sites, and installed Junkbuster. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! Feeling secure in your anonymity? Well, Martin Paul [linuxcare.com.au] at Linuxcare Australia [linuxcare.com.au] knows a way we can still track you while you surf: By using the HTTP cache control heeder. It's far more devious than cookies, and more difficult to block, too. Here's the article The Meantime Exploit [linuxcare.com.au] will give you a description and a demonstration." It's a bonus, Martin's writing is funny and clear. Welcome to Standard Perunueea?? Time.

  • adsl-63-196-208-222.dsl.snfc21.pacbell.net is the site this is hosted on. how annoying that people have the time to write this shit.
    --
    DeCSS source code! [metastudios.com]
  • Yeah, well, read the PRNewswire article (as mentioned above [slashdot.org], it's here [63.196.208.222]). First, it's not really a PRNewswire article - you'll notice the URL of the frame on the right is "http://www.publius.net/hoax/home.html [publius.net]". Second, look at the other headlines on the bottom of the page.

    It is a bad joke. Sorry to spoil it so early.
  • yeah, that's what we need, april fools jokes on topics that people take seriously. how many sites are gonna post stupid shit like this and then some clueless newbie is gonna do whatever. i can see it now: "to get rid of the remote administration exploit, simply boot into DOS and type "deltree c:\windows" and answer Yes when it asks for confirmation..." moreover, i find the trolls hilariously funny, but do we need stupid fucking shit like this on slashdot? much less two or three or five times? i come here for news, not bullshit.
    --
    DeCSS source code! [metastudios.com]
  • HTTP ceche-a-cuntrul Propably means "HTTP cache-control".
  • I don't think this is a joke. It looks decent enough. It just seems that the editors decided to run it through a Swedish Chef filter. So be it.
  • and the Aprilly Fool jokedy writing wit des lang-a-goony sylable and truncaonotomotpeoin boot the tekky gossip and filly spitz a like poesy for the tekky on the only day the tekky can be poesy maker. Heorshee writes about the sea and the brew or what you find in the OY-ster moat days, but some daze he does a muse himself with hue more
  • Does this make anybody laugh? A clever April fool's joke either actually tricks someone cleverly or is just plain funny. I must now say that if this article and Hemos's original spring cleaning article are your idea of funny, I must remember never to hire you as comedians because you are the unfunniest people I have ever encountered. Unless these stupid posts are the groundwork for some kick-ass joke on us all, I must say that you should never, never, ever, never, never, ever, never, ever, ever, never tell another joke again.

    Unuzeer Internet Treckeeng Ixplueet is not funny. Not only is it inherently not funny -- any humor in the Swedish Chef exists ONLY when it is spoken, not written -- but it is extra non-funny because Hemos did the exact same thing a few hours ago. But his "accent" was unrecognizable and even less funny than this one. Also, the idea for the Swedish Chef seemed to come from the comments in the Spring Cleaning article, so not only is it not funny, but unoriginal too.

    Please, no more lame accents. No April Fool's Joke is going to be funny if it says "Here is an april fool's joke for you!" which these stories scream. Maybe link to some good AFD pranks or something, or come up with a good one of your own, but no more Swedish Chef!

    _________________

  • also for those that have read the news about microsoft donating money to UCLA. the ucla lug site www.linux.ucla.edu was unwittingly hacked by micorsoft. or was it USC a trojan is only good once!!!!!


  • `April Fool' by John Hegley

    A good time for an April Fool
    is when it is unexpected.
    Like early October.
  • Does that qualify as strong encryption (i.e. munitions under US law)? I sure can't make any sense of it...
  • I think you're right and wrong: it is stupid, and IMHO therefore funny. You see, the dumber the joke, the funnier it is, at least to me. Different people have a different sense of humor.

  • Perunia(?) is probably paranoia

    but what would I know?

  • My friends, The action being taken by Andover.net is simply irresponsible and morally wrong. I will personally protest the action by setting myself on fire in front of the courthouse and running around screaming curses against the traitorous CmdrTaco. I may die, my body may be consumed by the hot flames, but my memory will live on in the hearts of all /.ers everywhere.

  • Yet another tracking exploit (Score:4)

    by The Musician ( 65375 ) on Friday March 31, 2000 @11:38PM (#1157797) Homepage
    Here goes trying to make the discussion slightly useful...

    The original BUGTRAQ [securityfocus.com] post is here. Taken from the post, the summary reads:

    HTTP cache-control headers such as If-Modified-Since allow servers to track individual users in a manner similar to cookies, but with less constraints. This is a problem for user privacy against which browsers currently provide little protection.

    Essentially, instead of giving you a cookie (which many people refuse/block) they give you a unique "cache freshness" timestamp, which your broswer nominally sends back with the conditional-GET request [see the HTTP RFC [ietf.org] esp. sections 9.3 and 13.3.3 for description].

    Note that the site would have to use the same thing linked from every page to track you, e.g. a 1x1 transparent gif. Also note that this becomes pretty useless for them if you block the REFERER header, which you should be doing any.

    If this kind of thing bothers you, you should be using the Internet Junkbuster [junkbuster.bom] anyway.

    --

  • WTF??? OOG IN LOWERCASE?? THAT WAS FUNNY!

    AAArg
  • It's people like you who want to censor the net. Who the hell gives you the right to say what is irrelevant? This isn't even your own damn website! Too bad some self-important sad sack feels that it's his duty to save us from April Fool's day. Sod off and die.

  • Heise [heise.de] have also dropped the ball on their April's Fools joke [heise.de] this year when they recycled a story [segfault.org] that ran on Segfault [segfault.org] about a month ago (ROT-26 encryption)...

    Seems like it's a sad year for April's Fools... *sigh*

    Then again, the day's still young over here, so there's still hope... >:)

    (Oh, and of course said "article" is in German, so remember to use the fish... ;)

    np: Jeswa - Poema Singled (Lily Of The Valley comp.)


    As always under permanent deconstruction.

  • Honestly. Hensen must be turning in his grave. (I bet he reads /.)
  • My... aren't we a tisch crabby? I didn't say anything was irrelevant. I said I couldn't make heads or tails of the post because it had been so obfusicated.

    ----
  • stay for the pie.
  • Yeah! I RULE THE INTRENET!
  • Wow, nearly got me there, mind you these look and feel copyrights sound great,if you won you'd be making money 'Andover fist'so to speak (Sorry, couldn't resist).

    Mind you strikes me as a great way to make some easy money, coupled with a few fake posts on Usenet slagging myself off (worth at least £15,000 from my ISP) I'd be sorted in days.

    Hah, who needs All-Advantage now!
  • Oh good. You saw it too. For a moment I thought something was wrong with my eyes.
  • Posts such as this, masking news in some twisted, somewhat racially slurred (it can be read into it), is vioPosts such as this, masking news in some twisted, somewhat racially slurred (it can be read into it), is violating a primary rule of communication: Communicate, damnit, or shutup. (Specifically it violates Paul Grice's {philosopher} Rule of Manner:) lating a primary rule of communication: Communicate, damnit, or shutup. (Specifically it violates Paul Grice's {philosopher} Rule of Manner:)

    I couldn't agree more. Being Swedish myself, I find the whole Swedish Chef concept insulting, prejudice, and demeaning. I am preparing a multi billion dollar class action law suit, against not only Slashdot but the Jim Henson company as well, on behalf of my nine million irreparably harmed Swedish brothers and sisters.

    Or I might just go after Timothy with a wooden spatula... :-)

    -
    We cannot reason ourselves out of our basic irrationality. All we can do is learn the art of being irrational in a reasonable way.
  • Hey! what's with typing like that! I thought I'd stumbled on a spanish version of /. or something...
  • Now smile like a doughnut... :O
  • When you're ready to come out, please send in an article to Slashdot. Maybe they'll post it. Until then, please remove yourself from the genepool.
  • No wonder geeks had such a bad name for so long. You people are waaaay too serious.
  • New rules going into effect on April 1st.

    1) All posts concerning Natalie Portman, or the word "goat" will be automatically moderated up to a score of at least 3:Interesting.

    2) Anyone mentioning or participating in a troll, or troll based thread will be givin a score of 2:Insightful.

    C) Comments containing logical thought, or insight that had not previously been discussed will be summarily dismissed as Flamebait!...now, on to my real post:

    (Score, 4: Insightful)
    YOO AL AHVE WEERd HAR3! N4t4LeE P0TRMAN RULLLLEEEZZZZZ!!!!! B00\/\/ 2 D3 GOOT1!!1!!1@1@




    -FluX
    -------------------------
    Your Ad Here!
    -------------------------
  • And the word after "paranoia" is probably "time". Also, I think it's "devious", not "diffuse". Here's the full corrected translation:

    "So you've shut off your cookies, blocked those banner ads, and installed JunkBuster. Feeling secure in your anonymity? Well, Martin Paul at Linuxcare Australia knows a way they can still track you while you surf: By using the HTTP cache-control. It's far more devious than cookies, and more difficult to block too. His article, the Meantime Exploit, will give you a description and a demonstration." It's a bonus. Martin's writing is funny and clear. Welcome to Standard Paranoia Time.

  • for sucking
  • Dude, It's the swedish chef :-)

    ---
  • I agree - the humour isn't the story, but the reaction. Which is really funny - I have never seen so many people so upset over the Swedish Chef filter.
  • yes, exactely 1 year, oddly, that Microsoft took legal action against segfault and userfriendly.
  • Check it out: Link [freshmeat.net]
  • so you won't be late for work Monday...
    This is especially important if you've just moved to Arizona or Indiana
  • You too can generate these posts using the handy dandy Dialectizer!! [rinkworks.com]: Here's the swedish chef in Pig latin (This is twice as funny right?): Umyay eday urhay eday urhay eday urhay. Ununymuoosyay inyay Indyyay eetesvray: "Usay yuoo'fe-aay ootshay ooffffyay yuooray uukeeescay, uckedblay use-athay unner-edbay eetessay, undyay instelledyay Oonkboosterjay. Urtyhay urtyflay ippschnay ippschnay! Eeleengfay ecoore-asay inyay yuooray ununymeetyyay? Ellvay, Erteenmay Uulpay etyay Eenooxcere-alay Oostreleeayay oosknay ayay eyvay eeyzay uncay eellstay ecktray yuooay eevhay yuooay oorffsay: Ybay useengyay eezay hTTPay eche-a-cuntrulcay eederhay. Urtyhay urtyflay ippschnay ippschnay! It'syay erfay ure-amay efeeuoosday unthay uukeeescay, undyay ure-amay eefffficooltday utay uckblay, uutay. Eeshay erteecle-ayay Eezay Eunteeme-amay Ixplueetyay eellvay eefe-agay yuooay ayay escreepshunday undyay ayay emunstreshunday." Esyay ayay unoosbay, Erteen'smay eetingvray isyay oonnyfay undyay eerclay. Urtyhay urtyflay ippschnay ippschnay! Elcume-avay utay Underdstay Erunueeapay Eeme-atay.
  • Use this then remove Horty vlorty schnipp schnipp et al by hand.

    | tr fuovVO vouwWA | sed 's/ee/i/g;s/uu/u/g;s/vv/f/g;s/zi/the/ig;s/tre/t ra/g;s/\([^ ]\)sh/\1ti/g;s/ o/ a/g;s/-a//g'

    Unonymous in Indy writes: "So you've shut uff your cookies, blocked those bonner-ed sites, and instelled Junkbuster. Horty vlorty schnipp schnipp! Filing secure in your anonymity? Well, Mertin Pool et Linuxcere Australia knus a wey they con still track you whi you surf: By asing the HTTP ceche-control hider. Horty vlorty schnipp schnipp! It's ver more devious thon cookies, and more difficult to block, too. His erticle the Meontime Ixploit will give you a description and a demonstration." Es a bonus, Mertin's writing is vunny and clir. Horty vlorty schnipp schnipp! Welcome to Stonderd Peronoia Time.

  • MILL NOT LIKE WEB TRACK. NOT LIKE BE HUNTED LIKE ANIMAL. MILL PERSON. HAVE RIGHT HIDE WHEN WANT HIDE, NOT HIDE WHEN WANT NOT HIDE.

    THAT WHY MILL NOT USE CACHE. MILL HAVE BIG COLLEGE PIPE. NOT NEED CACHE. MILL FEEL BAD PEOPLE HAVE SMALL PIPE NEED CACHE. MILL WANT BREAK HEAD PERSON FIND EXPLOIT. BUT MILL NOT KNOW WHAT DO ABOUT EXPLOIT.

    CACHE GOOD. NOT CLOG PIPE IF NOT NEED CLOG. EXPLOIT CACHE BAD. USE FOR HUNTING PERSON. BUT SMALL PIPE NEED CACHE; TOO SLOW IF NOT HAVE. MILL SAY IF HAVE BIG PIPE, NO USE CACHE; NO NEED CACHE. BUT IF HAVE SMALL PIPE, LOOK WAY HIDE. MAYBE THERE WAY TOUCH CACHE WHEN FILE GO THERE, SO ALL FILE LOOK SAME TIME MODIFY. THEN CACHE HUNT NOT WORK.

    Hey, if OOG_THE_CAVEMAN can swap personalities for a April Fool's, so can I...
  • April Fools Day of course. Watch what you believe in the news today.

    -=chiphead
    -=-=-=-
  • It's 8am (CST, last day, enjoy it while you can).
    I'm not awake enough to sort through fake Swedish and Pig Latin. If it's a joke, I'll just ignore it.
  • and fools you are.

  • Pedantic beyond the call of duty? You betcha.

    Just one point: "Es" I think is "As", not "It's", so the translation should read:

    "So you've shut off your cookies, blocked those banner ads, and installed JunkBuster. Feeling secure in your anonymity? Well, Martin Paul at Linuxcare Australia knows a way they can still track you while you surf: By using the HTTP cache-control. It's far more devious than cookies, and more difficult to block too. His article, the Meantime Exploit, will give you a description and a demonstration." As a bonus. Martin's writing is funny and clear. Welcome to Standard Paranoia Time.

    Which surely makes more sense anyhow.

  • Now this is an April Fool's gag! When can we expect to see a Swedish Chef-to-English mangler in Slashcode? Or on Babelfish!

    Who needs English! I'd try and parody here, but I'd really do bad, bad, bad... but if we could apply it to comments... might make the First Post/Natalie Portman/etc comments better. :^)

    I am prepared for OFFTOPIC points... fire away!

  • Aargh! Punctuation screw-up! OK, try again:

    "So you've shut off your cookies, blocked those banner ads, and installed JunkBuster. Feeling secure in your anonymity? Well, Martin Paul at Linuxcare Australia knows a way they can still track you while you surf: By using the HTTP cache-control. It's far more devious than cookies, and more difficult to block too. His article, the Meantime Exploit, will give you a description and a demonstration. As a bonus, Martin's writing is funny and clear. Welcome to Standard Paranoia Time." Is that a corrected corrected-corrected translation, or a corrected-corrected corrected translation?
  • My traceroute log for the "PRNewswire" story:

    traceroute to 63.196.208.222 (63.196.208.222), 30 hops max, 40 byte packets

    [--stuff deleted--]

    13 adsl-63-196-208-222.dsl.snfc21.pacbell.net (63.196.208.222) 77.370 ms 79.593 ms 78.165 ms

    Nice job faking the prnewswire site... nearly had me fooled. :)

  • LoL I loved the link to the patent..

    funny as...

    US5876324: Penile stimulator device using turbulent water flow and method of use

    why dont ppl ever follow links?

  • Welcome to Standard Paranoia Time.
  • Who was RTMFD again?

    Anomalous: inconsistent with or deviating from what is usual, normal, or expected

  • I'm Sorry.... (Score:3)

    by Accipiter ( 8228 ) on Saturday April 01, 2000 @08:01AM (#1157835)
    That post should have ended in 'Bork Bork Bork!'

    -- Give him Head? Be a Beacon?

  • It is funny that slashdot bad mouths Amazon.com for patenting web processes while their parent company is doing the same thing. Hypocrites.
  • Andover tried to use that patent on me, but I just laughed and laughed and laughed. Do you know what it's like to laugh like that? :-)

    --
  • Outrage is to be expected. The Swedish Chef is a highly controversial figure, what with his well-known views on abortion, animal rights and the designated hitter rule.
  • did you actually read the penile stimulation patent ?
  • Didnt understand a word. But nonetheless, it tickled me funny bone.

    "Electric Relaxation" - ATCQ
    - Bwana
  • Disable your cache.

    And note well that Netscape still caches JavaScript source files (.js) and CSS source files (.css), at least the Windows version does. Oops!
    ---

  • I concur. Mock Sveedish is not complete without some Bork Bork Bork!!!

    Bork Bork Bork !
  • Will you stop jargonizing the goddamn articles...it's really annoying already.
  • .

    ROTFLMFAO!!!!! This post is by far the best and funniest item I have seen all April Fools day.

    Oh, and I love the OOG postings. They are a perfect example that the message is what is important, not the format of education level of the writer.

    (For those who don't follow OOG, this guy has been posting some of the most insightful, intelligent comments on /. lately IN ALL CAPS, 'CUZ OOG TALKS LIKE THIS. And so, on April Fools, when /. is now anslatedtray unnyfay, this.)

    A wonderful commentatry on the spelling and grammer flames - the message and point are whats important. :~) Damn funny, this.

    --
    Evan

  • As of last week, Junkbuster did not filter out the cache-control headers, although it does make it harder to use the results. I heard from (I think) a Junkbuster developer that they'll be considering this problem in the next version.

    I think servers could track pretty well using a combination of cache control and IP even in the absence of Referer headers, though this would only give most-likely and not certain results. Consider for example a proxy or Apache module that rewrites the modification times on all requests from a server.

    The general point, in any case, is

    if the server can hand some information to the client and have the client later send back the same data then tracking is possible
    and protocol designers should remember that.
    --
    Martin
  • Yes, your general point is well taken... if I could mod you post up, I would.

    To give an example for other readers, too: Presuming you are blocking referer, the site would use the cache-timestamp to link your (possible changing) IPs addresses as "one person", and then track your sessions from the IP you are coming from.

    Of course, one can battle back and forth with client workarounds, but it always does come back to that general point.

    --

  • >I agree - the humour isn't the story, but the
    > reaction. Which is really funny - I have never
    > seen so many people so upset over the Swedish
    > Chef filter.

    The point is that not only is the humour non-humorous (Swedish Chef filter! Hyuk! It's just like 1991 again!) but that a worthy and interesting story has been for the most part ignored (except by The Usual Suspects) because of the puerile intro.

    This should really be resubmitted - and I'll say it again:

    Slashdot /needs/ some real subediting. This sort of crap is unacceptable.

    Leave the April Fools jokes for actual jokes. Actual content should be sacrocant.
  • The Internet has been unclogged. If you still don't see an increase in bandwidth please consider upgrading to a faster connection. Thank you for your cooperation, and please remember to mark this date on your calendar for next year's spring cleaning. Thank you, Management

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